Search for Significance

missed a session?

2007-12-05T11:56:00.000-07:00

AHHHH....So far behind. I apologize for being, oh let's see, six sessions behind on my posts. I did however want to give you a great resource for making up any session you might have missed during the course of this journey. If you click on this link: MEN'S FRATERNITY.....it will direct you to a page where for only $3.00 you can purchase five viewings of any session you may have missed.

And sorry to disappoint, but the speaker (Robert Lewis) is of much higher quality and knowledge than the guy on Thursday mornings.

The link page will prompt you as to how to purchase view ect. Hope this helps.

facing the father wound

2007-11-03T01:38:00.000-06:00

As we take our next step in this journey we come face to face with the Fatherhood wound. And by facing it head on we will be doing something very SIGNIFICANT. We are going to face it PROACTIVELY from two different standpoints and in doing so we have to address two very important questions:

As Fathers
1. How can I avoid inflicting a wound like we’ve been talking about on my sons?
2. How can I make up for the wound that I’ve already inflicted on my sons?

As Sons
1. How do I speak to the wound in my own life from my dad?
2. How do I get healing from that wound?

So as we take a bold step directly into this wound we must take it as Fathers and as Son’s.

When looking at scripture the level of importance placed on the relationship between Father and child is eternal. In the last verse of the last chapter of the last book of the Old Testament we find a profound prophecy that is not going to be fulfilled for another 400 years in the nation of Israel. It’s a prophecy concerning a renewal of spirituality brought on first by the coming of John the Baptist and then Jesus himself.

The chapter speaks of how John the Baptist will come and he will begin to stir the hearts of the people of Israel and a revival will break forth. And as we look at the last verse, of the last chapter of the last book of the Old Testament it speaks to that revival, and then the Old Testament closes. And here is how that last verse says you’ll know revival is in the land:

Malachi 4:6. “And he (that is, John the Baptist) will restore the hearts of the fathers to their children. And the hearts of the children to their fathers.”

That’s how you’ll know there’s revival in the land. There’ll be reconciliation between children and their dads. Now that is eternal significance and it holds true for you and me today.

HOW TO DEAL WITH THE FATHER WOUND
So how do we deal with the Father Wound? I’m going to give you 8 Proactive Remedies. Three of them are going to be for dads with their sons, and five of them are going to be for sons with their dads. Here’s the first one.
AS A FATHER
1. If you’re a dad, make sure your son has THE ESSENTIALS
It is critical that we as dad’s make sure that when the time comes for our son’s to leave home he has the ESSENTIALS that will ground him and add weight to his life.

The 3 things you need to make sure he hears are these:
a. I love you – That’s Affirmation: he needs to have that kind of affection from you. Not just the physical touch, but he needs to hear from you, dads, specifically – from your mouth: ‘I love you.’
b. ‘I’m proud of you – That’s Admiration: He needs admiration. He needs to know that he stands tall in your eyes.
c. He’s good – That’s Affirmation: you need to say, ‘Son, you’re good! I noticed you. And what I’m noticing in you are your strengths and I can name those strengths.
As dad’s it often easy to take for granted our son’s strengths and bring to light his weaknesses and to name those weaknesses. He needs us to name his strengths. To build him up and hold him high.
PUBLIC ADMIRATION FOR YOUR SON
And let me say this dad’s….There is so much power in naming your son’s strengths and admiring your son’s strengths in public. In front of other men and people he respects. You want to talk about something that will fill your son’s tank up, the next time you are in an appropriate setting with your son, share out loud your admiration for son’s strengths and then watch him fly.
THREE THINGS YOUR SON MUST HAVE
a. A manhood vision – and - A Manhood Ceremony to seal it
In the second half of this journey we will really dig into what that Manhood vision is and defining it for ourselves so that we can then pass that on to our son’s.
Next a son needs a manhood ceremony that seals his Manhood. Every son doesn’t just need to be told he’s a man, he needs to have an experience with dad and hopefully a community of other men where he is invited into the community of manhood. He knows: “ON THIS DAY I became a man, and the community recognized me for that.” That’s a ceremony and we’ll talk about how to do those ceremonies in the second half of this QUEST.
b. A Code of Conduct to live by - Primarily what you live by
He needs to see in us honesty, hard work, keeping our word, loyalty, purity and chivalry. We as a dad’s need to think about ‘what are my codes of conduct – what’s the moral code of my home that I am going to exhibit – that I want to be sure my son has?’ The only way he’ll have them is if we live by them and we can name them.
c. He needs a transcendent cause - Something to live for other than himself
We are the ones who helps instill in him that larger vision. See, so often a son growing up can become the whole focus of a our life. He can become self-centered, but one of the things we need to deposit in his life is, ‘Son, life is not just about you, there’s something much bigger than you in this world.’ To me it’s a spiritual cause and he needs to be introduced to that spiritual cause by us as a dad.
B. If you’re a dad it’s never too late to CLOSE THE GAP with your son, no matter how old he is.
There are some of you out there, that as we have broken into these issues of manhood wounds and the father wound your thoughts have gone to your son and perhaps the missed opportunities or hurt that has been caused. Perhaps your son is gone and you have this guilt that is hanging over you. If you are a dad and you have been feeling that way, LET ME TAKE THAT BURDEN FROM YOU. So you made some mistakes and perhaps messed up…But here is the blessing: IT IS NEVER, EVER TOO LATE TO CLOSE THE GAP WITH YOUR SON, NO MATTER HOW OLD HE IS. But it is up to you to make the call and begin the process of closing that gap.
C. If you’re a single dad – or if you’re a dad separated from your son by divorce – or if you’re a dad who has inherited a son through remarriage and you have a blended family – here’s my word for you. Seek help and a sound strategy.
And here is why: Because in many ways you, as a father, are in ‘uncharted waters.’
Even with the epidemic levels of divorce and blended families today, this area is still for most men UNCHARTED WATERS. And people are trying desperately to navigate those waters and unfortunately there are a lot more myths out there than facts.
So what do you do in those circumstances? Here are a three things I would recommend to you:
1. Read, read, read!
That’s the first principle. There are some great books out there like: “Raising Children in Blended Families” by Maxine Marsolini. If you are one of those Dad’s I mentioned it is absolutely critical that you find a book to read and develop a sound strategy just like you are doing being a part of this journey.
2. Find a Professional
Even after you have read you still may feel uncomfortable. If that is the case then you need to seek out a professional that can assist you in developing a strategy to over come some of the obstacles you are facing in your specific circumstances. If it cost you $100, $150 bucks to spend an hour with a professional, it will be worth it.
3. Develop a sound strategy
You know the Scripture says in Proverbs: ‘In a multitude of counselors there is victory’. You can get a number of those counselors through books and you can get some of them by just simply making an appointment.
AS A SON
D. If you’re a son, wounded by dad, choose to touch this wound RESPONSIBLY
You really have two choices:
1. You can choose to forgive your dad
Look at what Hebrews 12: 9-10 says. He’s comparing God as our Father with our earthly fathers in this particular text and he says:

“Furthermore, we had earthly fathers to discipline us; for they disciplined us for a short time as seemed best to them. But He [that is, God] disciplines us for our good…”

See that part in the middle: AS SEEMED BEST TO THEM. My thought is this: for the vast majority of us, our Dad’s did the best they new how to do, WHAT SEEMED BEST TO THEM. And minus a very small percentage of dad’s, my guess is that most of our dad’s never intended to hurt us. And that if given the opportunity would love to be more connected with us.
2. By choosing to believe in GOD’S JUSTICE
Now for that small percentage of dad’s that for whatever the reason in the face of family, chose to be evil. If that’s you, then you have another choice – and it’s more than just forgiving your dad, it’s also releasing your dad to God’s ultimate justice. Here’s what scripture says in Romans 12:19 says:

“Never take your own revenge, but leave room for the wrath of God, for it is written, ‘vengeance is Mine and I will repay.”
E. If you’re a son wounded by dad, Courageously Seek Reconciliation with your father.
Here is the deal with this principle: If you as a son suffer from a separation with dad, most likely, DAD IS NOT GOING TO COME TO YOU. And so here it is! For some of you, here is your first opportunity to really STEP UP INTO MANHOOD by going to dad and STEPPING DIRECTLY into this MANHOOD WOUND. But if we want reconciliation, if we are going to embrace this issue of AUTHENTIC MANHOOD, it is something we must do. And what’s amazing is when you do go to dad; you will begin to feel something change in you. And you will begin to feel that breech in your relationship heal.

F. If you’re a son wounded by dad, risk asking for your FATHER’S LOVE.
You know, there are probably many of you that have never the heard the words “I love you” from your father. And that is significant because each and everyone of desires and needs to hear that from our Dad’s. So if you want to hear it, then it’s time to put on the chin strap and go ask him.

G. If you’re a son wounded by dad, risk asking for your FATHER’S BLESSING.
Maybe some of you never got that verbal affirmation from our father, that blessing that said: “Son I am proud of you, I am proud of where you are in your life and where you are going and the way you are doing it” and so there has always been this vacuum inside, that questions how your dad really feels about you and if he is proud of you.

And you know, every man longs to have his fathers blessing. But if you haven’t, then maybe what you need to do is get up and go ask for it. THAT’S REAL MANHOOD.

H. If you’re a son wounded by dad, you can RECLAIM the relationship you missed as a son by becoming a GREAT DAD to your children.
The cycle has to stop with us. We have to make the conscious and intentional decision to ask for help, read books, and step up into AUTHENTIC MANHOOD for our children and our families.
It’s so much more than just being present. It’s connecting with them on a spiritual level. Investing in their lives so that they can take what we have we have given them and multiply it over generations. That is SIGNIFICANT.

And so as we look back at this Fatherhood Wound, we have to decide whether we are going to continue to compensate for it, continue to hide and hope we don’t feel, and hope it doesn’t inflict pain on our families, and continue to hide in BOYHOOD. Or we can strap it on, step out and face this wound HEAD ON and in doing so step directly into MANHOOD. It’s your choice. But let me say, IT IS SO VERY WERTH IT……For generations to come. You can do it. I know you can. And that is how we walk into the FATHERHOOD WOUND.

remembering dad

2007-10-19T22:47:00.000-06:00

Ah, remembering dad. For most of us dad is what we like to call emotional whitewater. It truly is amazing the immense emotion that is wrapped up in a father son relationship.

See, every single one of us whether being a father ourselves or in remembering dad, there is this intense, undeserving admiration that takes place between son and father. There’s just this natural instinct for a son to worship his dad. And although undeserved, it exists. And here is why:

Proverbs 17:6 “The glory of sons is their dads.”

So dad can build on that advantage, that admiration, or he can squander it. But sons want desperately to be like dad. And they are watching us. And if that admiration is embraced and nurtured by dad then the son get’s to go out into life steadied and HIS LIFE IS BLESSED BY DAD. But if that admiration is squandered, then the son looses that advantage and will eventually come to realize that he has not been blessed, and that wound begins to rise up and he begins to hurt.

The unfortunate reality is that we are facing an epidemic in this country of fatherless homes and as a result boys are being inflicted with this wound on a daily bases. And the sad truth is that when DAD is missing in a son’s life, most times a son will not have the strength and stability to stand in life. And so as a result he sinks. He tends to drift in life and is incapable of living the kind of MANHOOD he was meant to live under the umbrella of that a healthy relationship with DAD. David Blankenhorn, in his book Fatherless America, said it this way:

“As a father, the good family man is not perfect, but he is good enough to be irreplaceable. He is a father on the premises. His children need him and he strives to give them what they need every day. He knows that nothing can substitute for him – nothing. Either he is a father, or his children are fatherless. He would never consider himself ‘not that important."

Son’s desperately need DAD to be a part of their lives.

DEFINING THE ABSENT FAHER WOUND

In session four we defined a WOUND and talked briefly about the MANHOOD wounds that we find in our suitcase or our lives. But as we REMEMBER DAD it is important that we clearly define what the Absent Father Wound is that may inflict us. The Absent Father Wound is defined as:

An ongoing emotional, social or spiritual DEFICIT that’s ordinarily met in a HEALTHY RELATIONSHIP with dad that now must be overcome by OTHER MEANS.

An emotional deficit = No a heart connection with Dad

A social deficit = No companionship with dad.

A spiritual deficit = No substantive connection or direction from dad.

MEMORIES
I have had the privilege of spending many hours just reliving memories that men have shared with me about their fathers. Many of them were great memories of fishing and hunting, camping, sports, and just spending time together.
A TRIBUTE

If you find yourself in this camp of great memories with dad, let me encourage you to write your father a tribute. Take the time to re-count the many great memories you are so grateful to your father for placing in your life. And then take that tribute, that letter, and frame it and present it to him. He deserves it and so do you.

BAD MEMORIES
On the other hand for some of us we find ourselves on the other side, the side of the ABSENT FATHER and the pain and frustration that goes with that. And so we recall the things that we missed, and wanted to receive, but never did.
THE EFFECTS OF THE ABSENT FATHER WOUND
If you look back at your life and what you discover is a wound, then we need to talk about the effects of the Absent Father Wound. So I want to give you four things we see in men that indicate they have the wound.

1. Anger and pain
Boys that grew up to be men without dad feel anger and they’re not sure why. They feel pain. But you know, the Bible speaks clearly to that? It shows the connection between a man’s anger and his dad. Two verses in particular point this out.

The first is:

Ephesians 6:4. It says to dads: “And dads, do not provoke your children to anger, (Isn’t that interesting?) but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.”
The second is:

Colossians 3:21. It says: “Fathers, do not exasperate your children that they may lose heart.”
So when a boy has been wounded by dad he loses heart with life. He doesn’t feel like he is any good and he doesn’t feel like he is going anywhere. And so he turns in on himself and that makes him mad.

James Toney, who was once the International Federation middleweight boxing champ, was pictured on the cover of Sports Illustrated. They were asking him why he was such a tenacious boxer. I want you to listen to his words:

"I fight with anger. My dad – he did my mom wrong. He made my mom work two jobs, and he left his responsibilities behind, and I can never forgive that. I hope my father reads this article because if he ever decides to come out of the woodwork, I’ll be ready for him. Everything I do in the ring is about that. I look at my opponent and I see my dad, so I have to take him out. I’ll do anything I have to do to get my dad out of there.”

2. Extreme behaviors, specifically addictions or obsessions
And where anger is one way a son expresses the pain that has been inflicted, addictions are a way he suppresses the pain. So he takes the pain of that hole in his heart that has been left as a result of not having our fathers in our lives and he numbs the pain with things like DRUGS, ALCHOHAL, SEXUAL ADDICTION, and PORNOGROPHY. Because they are all a way for us as men to numb the pain that we do not understand.
And that’s why this issue of looking back is so very important, because it gives us the keys to unlocking the past that haunts us and drives us into the addictive and obsessive behaviors to numb a pain that we do not understand.

3. An inner sense of lostness – or incompleteness
So maybe you have not gone to the extremes of addictions or compulsive behaviors, but still you have this inner feeling of being lost, directionless, or just plain empty. Like there is just this piece missing inside that you just can’t get our hands around. It is a symptom of the Absent Father wound.

4. Homosexuality
Look closely at the words of Dr. Elizabeth Moberly of Oxford University. In her study on homosexuality she concluded that homosexuality, for the most part, in her words:

“Is a fracture of the relationship with the parent of the same sex. Homosexuality then becomes at an adult level a vain, eroticized attempt to recover from that fracture.” “Much, if not all, of homosexuality, depends on difficulties in the parent-child relationship, especially in the early years of life. The homosexual, whether a man or a woman, has suffered from some deficit in the relationship with the parent of the same sex, and later there is a corresponding drive to make good that deficit through the medium of same-sex, homosexual relationships as an adult.”
And so that wound left by the ABSENT FATHER creates this fissure -- this psychic fissure – or CRACK that a man wants to recover from as a result of the Absent Father Wound.

WHAT EVERY SON WANTS/NEEDS
So what is it that every son wants and needs from his father? Let me give you five things I think that every son wants and needs from his dad:

1. Time Together
You know the old adage: “It’s quality not quantity” it’s garbage. It’s a lie, unless you are talking about “QUALITY QUANTIY TIME”. Sons want dad’s time – they want those experiences and memories. Because it’s those positive experiences and memories that will give weight to his life. That will steady his soul.

2. LIFE SKILLS
Listen to what it says in Proverbs 22:6:
“Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not depart from it.”

He won’t depart from it because it will make sense:
o He’ll know how to write out a check and keep up with his account.
o He’ll know what to do when he and his date walk up to the door.
o He’ll know how to share his heart.
o He won’t feel like a fool in life, because you’ve trained him up in the way he should go.

That verse also speaks to the issue of being sensitive to your child’s bent or gift. It’s important that we pay attention to what our child’s strengths are, what their bent is, and help craft a path that will maximize that gift. If our child has a gift with art we can’t try and force him or her to be an athlete. We need to honor their gifts and empower them to maximize them.

3. Dad’s direction with solid ‘why’ answers
What a son needs from dad is a philosophy about what life is all about. Deuteronomy chapter six encourages dads to do this with their sons:

“And these words which I am commanding [God is saying I am commanding] you today. You take these words and they shall be on your heart [Dad] and you shall teach them to your sons and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by they way, and when you lie down and when you rise up.”
This scripture is right at the heart of what we talked about a few weeks ago when we said PASS THE GREAT STUFF ON TO YOUR SON. Going to his events, attending his games, and being involved in his life is all very good stuff. But what this is saying is TEACH HIM THE GREAT STUFF. Stuff like:

o what is life about?
o What does it mean to be a man?
o What does it mean to be a man with a woman?
o What happens to you when you die?’

That’s the kind of things dads need to be talking to their sons about when they lie down and when they rise up, and when they walk through the day.

4. Dad’s convictions through modeling

WRITE THIS DOWN:
We will leave in our son what we have lived out in our home
It’s not just what you say; it’s what you do. It’s the way you react and the son sees that and that builds conviction – a certain security about life.
Look at the way Paul says it in 1st Thessalonians as he uses an example of fathering to talk about spiritual fathering:
You are witnesses, and so is God, how devoutly and uprightly and blamelessly we behaved towards you believers.

That is, ‘you saw our convictions.’ Just as you know how we were exhorting and encouraging and imploring each one of you as a father would his own children.
You see what a father IMPLORES and EXHORTS his own children with is his CONVICTIONS. And when a child sees those convictions and hears those words, it makes sense. And when you take your convictions and your modeling and your words together and you begin living what you are saying, we call that INTEGRITY INTEGRATION. And that’s what every child needs because it is easy to follow.

5. But most of all, what every son needs is his Dad’s heart.
Every son needs to be loved by dad and affirmed by dad and blessed by dad. In fact, if you’re a dad there are three things you’d better be sure your son leaves home with. He needs to hear from you:

(a) I love you,
(b) I’m proud of you,
(c) And you’re good at [something}

We get to see an incredible example of this scripture throught he life of Jesus. Yes that’s right Jesus. Because as a man His needs were not different that yours and mine. So at a critical time in Christs life in Mathew 17:5 we see the heavens open and the words of His father proclaim:

“This is My beloved Son, in whom I am well-pleased. Listen to Him. "

Do you see it:
o “This is My beloved Son.” - ‘Son, I love You!’ Here it is, a critical moment in Jesus’ ministry and heaven opened up and the Father said, “I love You.”
o ‘in whom I am well-pleased’ “I’m proud of You!”
o And then He tells the disciples around Jesus, “Listen to Him!” (because He’s really good!)

I want you to know every son needs that kind of a blessing from dad. If a son doesn’t get time with his dad, or some life skills or some direction, some convictions or some heart, then it leaves this huge vacuum and void and wound in his life.

unpacking the past

2007-10-07T16:11:00.000-06:00

For most of us, the past is riddled with both good and bad memories. With noble moments and not so noble moments. And yet in those memories leys the answers to who we are and why we do the things we do.

Each and everyone of us carries a suitcase on our journey through manhood. How we unpack that suitcase and deal with the UNFINISHED BUSINESS of the past will determine the type of man we will become.

ADDRESSING THE UNFINISHED BUSINESS OF OUR PAST

When talking about ADDRESSING UNFINISHED BUSINESS we are not talking about blaming the past for who we are today. It’s much bigger and important than that. What we are talking about is really getting in touch with our past and understanding it so that I can be the man I need to be. And I can then change the things I need to change. And the POWER is that we are able to alter our focus and begin stabilizing our stance so that we can start moving forward in an empowered way.

THE WOUNDS OF A MAN’S SOUL

The unfinished business of a man’s life are wounds that have been inflicted on him in his past. We define a wound as:

Any UNRESOLVED ISSUE where a lack of closure adversely impacts and shapes the DIRECTION and DYNAMICS of a man’s life now.

THE FIVE MANHOOD WOUNDS

1. The ABSENT FATHER Wound
Now when we say “absent father” we mean either a dad who wasn’t there altogether, or a dad who was there, but he wasn’t there.
And when dad is not there, it leaves a huge gaping wound in our lives. Sadly a lot of young men have never, ever finished this business with dad. It’s so easy in the midst of that wound to either get angry and close the lid on our feelings or pretend that it’s just going to go away. But we have to know, it doesn’t “just go away” until we deal with it in an appropriate way. Then we can put it to rest and can go on to live an authentic manhood life. That’s what we mean when we talk about this Father Wound. It is so important.

2. Overly-BONDED with MOTHER Wound

The Overly-Bonded with Mother wound often occurs when we were growing up, and mom – for whatever reason – invested too strongly in us. She didn’t mean to hurt us; that was not her intention. Many times she rushed in because she was trying to compensate for the dad that wasn’t there. Or maybe he was there, and not involved – but she got over-involved and she overly nurtured us, and overly controlled us, and she touched our world too much. She bonded with us too deeply and she took care of us too often.

And the result is a man who goes out into the world wounded by being OVERLY-BNDED with MOM and often has one of two reactions:

1. He resented that control and fought with that control, and didn’t like that control and so he goes out with an image of ‘I’m not going to be controlled by anyone, particularly women’! So he always has a difficult time with women, because he either has to dominate them, or he’s scared of them, because he sees the shadow of mother in all of them.
2. Or, like a lot of guys today, he succumbed to the control and he succumbed to this power that bonded with him too deeply and so here he is at 25 or 35 or 45 or 55 and mom, in whatever way – from whatever distance – is still dictating the terms, controlling their emotions, and violating the boundaries of his family.

3. The ALL-ALONE Wound
Far too often as men we find ourselves all alone on this journey of manhood. And as badly as we might want to be connected, we walk through life completely disconnected from other men that are on the same journey. Friends who in the midst of turmoil are there to hold us up and can CHEER for us in the noble things of life.

We develop these large BLIND SPOTS in life that everyone else seems to be able to see but us. And with the ALL-ALONE wound we damn ourselves to continually making the same mistakes over and over again because we ourselves do not have the perspective too be able to see them because we are disconnected and all alone.

You know, one of the ingredients in modern life that’s so desperately missing? It is older men attaching themselves, in friendship, to younger men. Older men who connect with younger men to encourage them and mentor them. Mentoring seems to be missing in our world today and most young men have no older man around them who are just admiring and encouraging them in their life.

4. The Lack of a Manhood VISION Wound
This wound is as a result of having no clear vision of who you are going to be. And so we then become subjected to a societal driven “CONVINTIONAL VISION OF MANHOOD” which says:

“If you’ll put your warrior face on. If you clamp down the armor tight and you work really hard, I mean really hard -- I know it’s going to hurt you, and it’s probably going to hurt your family, too -- but if you’ll work really hard, in the end you’re going to get what you want and then you won’t need anybody. You’ll get there! You’ll be on top of the mountain!”

And so Generation after generation of men set out “TO TAKE THE HILL” of this CONVINTIONAL VISION OF MANHOOD” to find out at 35, 45, or 55, that it aint workin and so they burn out. Or for those select few that do make it, the few that make it to the top, they quickly find out that they had been climbing the wrong mountain all along and that the CONVINTIONAL VISION OF MANHOOD was a LIE!

And it creates a great wound because we have no vision that will take us over a lifetime into a noble masculinity.

5. The Heart Wound
The Heart wound is a wound that everyone has, because it is not a wound of NURTURE; it is a wound that we’re born with. It is a wound of NATURE.
Since the beginning of time, man has questioned why he feels drawn to do evil. Just think for a moment. Have there ever been times in your life when you just sat back and said to yourself, ‘Why do I find myself doing the things that I don’t want to do? That I know are wrong? Why do I keep investing myself in things that I know are going to hurt me and my family, and yet I keep doing it? Why do I get out of control? Why do I give in to temptation? To anger? Why is it that the things I know are right, and I know would help everyone – I can’t find the power to do?’ Have you ever asked those questions of yourself? Sure you have. We’ve all experienced this particular wound at one time or another.

The answer to all those questions is this, we all have a wound of the soul and spirit that no counselor can fix. It’s just part of our birthright, unfortunately. It’s a wound that requires a deeper answer. And unless we’ve learned how to fix it, this problem will continually – every day – undercut our masculinity and our attempts at authentic manhood. That’s what the HEART wound represents.

You see, how a man addresses this unfinished business will determine the kind of man he will become. So, the first issue in authentic manhood is addressing the unfinished business of my past.

looking back

2007-10-06T18:55:00.000-06:00

Does yesterday really matter? According to Tiger Woods and Gillette (The Best A Man Can Get) yesterday is nothing more than a “Nice Memory” and TODAY is all that matters. Man, if only that were true.

What is true however, is that on this journey of Manhood, in order for us to truly embrace Authentic Manhood, it starts with LOOKING BACK. See the past holds the keys to who we are and how we live our lives today. And we all have a past. We all have a story. A story full of events and circumstances that have shaped our lives.

The tragedy is most of us have never really taken the time to think through our past and to analyze it in a way that explains why we are the way we are and why do things the way we do. Because without that kind of understanding it is impossible for us to change the things that need to be changed in order to grasp the AUTHENTIC MANHOOD we were meant to live. Because without that understanding we are driven by forces that we do not understand or are not willing to face and they rob us of living a life of AUTHENTIC MANHOOD.

SIX OBSERVATION ABOUT LOOKING BACK

1. My story is not UNIQUE. As a man I am not ALONE.
Man is that ever the truth. We as men are so good at convincing ourselves we are alone in the things we struggle with and no one else could possibly understand. You know what I find? A lot of guys think everybody had it better than them. But that’s just not true. No matter how good you look on the outside, there’s a lot of stuff going on inside every man. Some of those things are hurtful; some of those things feel like vacuums and missed moments. Some of those things are noble. But everybody has a story, and discovering that other men are like you is one of the great benefits of a meeting with and sharing with other men.

2. When a boy fails to CONNECT with his dad, DEMONS of one kind or another often fill the void.
When dad is not there, it leaves a hole in a son’s psyche. Whether dad wasn’t there emotionally, or whether he wasn’t there altogether, it leaves a hole and the son’s going to fill it with something, something that is a cheap and tragic substitute like - being a workaholic, sexual addiction, alcoholism, or other extremes. It’s all seeking to compensate for something that should have been there, but wasn’t. And what often isn’t there in a man’s life, is a reconciled, healthy relationship with the most significant person in his life growing up – HIS DAD.

3. Many men have yet to reckon with their PAST, or close out the UNFINISHED BUSINESS that still lives there.
This may be due to denial, or refusing to look back. It might be due to a lack of courage or just plain ignorance about the past and how the past affects now. But regardless of the reason, the truth is that some men are still trying at 30, 40, or even 50 to win mom or dad’s approval. And they don’t even know they’re doing it. And so a lot of men spend their lives trying to run from a past that they have absolutely no understanding of.

4. Until a man UNPACKS HIS PAST and deals with the THEMES and the PAINS that reside there, he can never be an authentic man.
Until we as men unpack those things that are in our past that haunt us, we can never achieve Authentic Manhood.
* Always living in the past, men, is not manhood. It’s boyhood.
* Playing the victim because of your past is not manhood; its boyhood.
* Working all the time to achieve things that you don’t even understand is not manhood; it’s boyhood.
* Denying your feelings, rather than grieving over your pain – which you may need to do – is not manhood; it’s boyhood.
* Disconnecting from your past, rather than connecting with it and understanding it, and having the courage to deal with it is not manhood; it’s boyhood.

5. You cannot become a real man without HELP. There is no such thing as a SELF-MADE MAN.
The Scripture says, “As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another.” The truth of the matter is no man can become an authentic man without the help of other men. We need their insight; we need their accountability; we need their balance in our life.
There are men who have self-made success, but they may have that success at the expense of a number of other things personally. They may be short-sighted; they may be unhealthy; they may be imbalanced and they may be riddled with a number of blind spots. But a healthy man has other men in his life to help make him who needs to be.

For better or worse, we are all significantly shaped by the FAMILY LIFE we experienced.
Our past helps explain you and me: WE ARE PRODUCTS OF THE PAST, BUT WE ARE NOT PRISONERS OF THE PAST.

UNLESS WE CHOOSE TO BE! Unless we choose to ignore our past, or deny our past, or worse, surrender to our past. That’s why it’s important to unpack our past, so we can take a look at what’s in there and we can choose to keep the things that have influenced us in a good sense. At the same time, by unpacking the past and telling our story and explaining ourselves – not just to us, but to others – we can invite help and assistance to break free of those things from our past that are holding us back from the kind of manhood we need to achieve.

It can be done, and it’s FREEING because it ushers us into a whole new existence called AUTHENTIC MANHOOD.

the four faces of manhood

2007-10-02T11:24:00.000-06:00

For many of us, the vision of manhood that has been laid at our feet is one of perfection as the humorist Garrison Keeler so eloquently portrayed when he wrote:

“Plato, St. Francis, Leonardo daVinci, Vince Lombardi, Yogi Berra --You don’t find guys of that caliber today. What you find is terrible gender anxiety. Guys desperately trying to be Mr. Right: the man who can bake a cherry pie; go shoot skeet; come back, toss the salad, converse intimately about intimate matters; cry if need be, laugh, hug, be vulnerable, perform passionately that night, and then the next day, go off and lift them bales and tote that barge. You know, trying to be Mr. Perfect, is a terrible way to spend your life.”

And for so many of us we carry this burden of perfection and with it a recipe for failure as men. When in reality what the world really needs, what the world is longing for and what we as men desire is a balance of four expressions, four noble faces in a man’s life.

THE FOUR FACES OF MANHOOD

1. The King Face – It’s a face that doesn’t come easily in a man’s life. The fact is this face has to be cultivated over time. There has to be a number of ingredients that go into helping a man put this face on. It’s through his parents; it’s through mentors; it’s through heroes; stories, faith; persevering through special problems. It comes about through integrating his religion into his life. All of which cultivates in a man’s soul over time. The King Face is forged in the crucible of a man’s life. The King Face has a love of right over comfort and ease.

It’s the face a man shows when he’s asked to cheat on a business deal. It’s the face a man shows when it comes time to keep his promise, although now keeping his promise is going to be extremely difficult. It’s the face a man shows when he makes good on his debt. The face shows when he risks his own life to save another person, or when he’s on a business trip and he’s propositioned by a female companion. It’s the face he shows when he could take advantage of someone else, but he chooses not to. Or he stands up to a good friend whose life is out of control, and risks the friendship in order to call the friend back to what is noble, and what is just. It’s that face he shows without blinking in the face of danger. It’s the fact that doesn’t waiver – even though he knows there are risks and consequences by standing up to that which is ignoble and wrong.

The King Face:

Reflects - Righteous Energy

Proverbs 4:18, “But the path of the righteous is like the light of the dawn that shines brighter and brighter until the full day.”

Is Characterized By :

1. Strong Convictions
2. Courageous moral choices
3. A servant spirit
4. Righteous Leadership

2. The Warrior Face – The Warrior face is the most celebrated and honored of all of the four faces in a man’s life. We love to celebrate great warriors of the past like George Patton ,Teddy Roosevelt, and William Wallace or great sports warriors like Michael Jordan, Lance Armstrong, Tiger Woods, and Cal Ripken. We love to honor warriors.
And all of that stirs our soul because there’s something within us that enjoys a good fight. And that’s the Warrior Face. It’s the man who can take life head-on and win; it’s the guy that can take the other guy’s best shot and still say CAGSOT (Come And Get Some Of This). It’s the man who works the hardest or the longest and outlasts the competition. We like the Warrior Face.

The Warrior Face:

Reflects – Conquering Energy

Is Characterized By:

1. Initiative - He goes after it on his own

2. Protecting – He is the one who shields and defends
3. Providing - It goes out and gets and says, ‘I’m going to take care of you. No matter what it takes.’
4. Persevering – amidst all kinds of adversity it

still goes on
5. Fighting - It’s the face that fights

The Warrior face is not a destructive force but rather a Positive Energy Force.

3. The Face of the Lover - The Lover is a face that is as unnatural to a man as the Warrior is natural because love is way more difficult for most of us as men.

It’s the Lover Who:
· picks up on his wife’s real needs;
· is willing to let go of another good business deal in order to spend more time at home.
· can open his heart and share the things that he really feels and who can crack open the door and share the hurt in his life and the pain, and he can connect around that kind of sensitivity of feelings, rather than hide them because he feels like he has to have a front for strenght

The Face of the Lover:

Reflects – Romantic Energy

Is Characterized by:

1. tenderness
2. sensitivity
3. sacrificial care
4. emotional openness
5. physical affection

Ephesians 5:25: “Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church.”

4. The Face of the Friend - You know the truth is as men we really don’t have friends. Don’t get me wrong, we have a lot of buddies, guys we might golf or fish or hunt or work with.

But we generally really have very few friends at all. The kind of friend that can connect with us at the soul level. The kind of friend that will talk tough to us and get in our face if need be. And quite honestly, as much as may want a friend like that, who has the time or energy.

The Friend Face:
Reflects – Connecting Energy

If you’re going to be the kind of man you’re supposed to be – you have to be connected with other men who can speak into your life; who can call out the best in you; who can cheer for your successes; admire your efforts and be your friend, because that’s what a real friend is.

Proverbs 27:17 “As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another.”

Characterized By :

1. Loyalty
2. Accountability
3. Challenge
4. Fun

Our world today is in desperate need of seeing in men the balanced and synchronized FOUR FACES of Manhood.

in the starting blocks of authentic manhood

2007-09-17T10:36:00.000-06:00

What does it mean to be a Man? A question that might seem so simple to answer has become one of the most confusing, misguided, and misunderstood in our society today. Yet here we stand in the STARTING BLOCKS of this journey The Quest for Authentic Manhood, taking the first steps in clearly and succinctly defining what manhood is in our specific lives.

As all journey’s do, this journey will require GEAR….the kind of gear essential not only for survival but for excellence as well. The gear required is this:

Toughness – to stand up to 24 weeks of study and self discovery. Toughness to battle the many distractions and emotions that will fight to tear down and discourage your enthusiasm.

Willingness - specific willingness on your part to be real with other men. Willingness to share pain and celebrate victory.

Courage – the kind of courage required for you to examine in a very real close way your life as a man. It is hard sometimes for men to open up their chest and look inside and see what’s there.

Commitment – to see this journey through. And not just commitment to yourself, but commitment to your family, your wife, your children, and those men taking this journey with you to become an Authentic Man. Many times INTRESTED can disguise itself as commitment and there is an enormous difference. If you are only interested, then you are only IN as long as it’s good for you. Once what’s in it for you is no longer fun or meeting your perceived needs, you’re OUT. Commitment never looks back.

5 MANHOOD PRESUPISITIONS

1. Manhood is in a state of confusion – We live in a society that has lost touch with what a man’s role is in his world. And this has resulted in a mass role reversal between men and women creating confusion and chaos as it relates to real authentic manhood. Confusion and chaos that has fostered an unsettledness and restlessness about life that can be narrowed down to three things:

a. What - The what is this, it’s a disappointment with life. For most of men life has fallen way short of meeting the expectations we may have had early on after graduating college, or moving into the professional world.

b. Pain - Underneath the surface of men’s lives there’s a lot of pain that they haven’t resolved. And honestly we have no idea how to talk about it.

c. Loneliness/Isolation - It’s really amazing that in the connected world we live in today we are so disconnected and alone. As men no one really has true intament access to us – and we have no idea how to get connected in a way that would be satisfying to us.

2. Confused men create major problems - All we have to do is watch TV or read a magazine or read the newspaper, or hear the latest statistics from the government, and we will find that most of the social problems in our society -- for whatever reasons – seem to rest at the feet of men. For some reason, as strong as we are, we are a fragile bunch.

3. Confused men settle for less in their life - And so we go out and get this job we’re supposed to have, and money we’re supposed to make; and things we’re supposed to have, and a wife we’re supposed to marry. And we move into that thinking because we’ve been told that if we have all those things we’ll be alive. And what happens is we get spinning in this process of life “THE PERVIABLE TOILET BOWL” and we have no higher calling on our lives other than ourselves and it so very un-satisfying.

4. There is no lofty vision of manhood - Not the kind that is compelling to men, the kind of manhood that calls men up.

5. The Bible has helpful insights - to all of the above presuppositions. It is an invaluable tool on this journey that is full of time tested wisdom and principles that have been proven out over the ages.

THE JOURNEY BEGINS NOW!

THE QUEST - July 20-21

2007-07-03T16:53:00.000-06:00

Make an on-line slideshow at www.OneTrueMedia.com

it's coming

2007-07-02T07:35:00.000-06:00

jerry's kids

2007-05-21T11:09:00.000-06:00

May 15th 2007 was one of those days. A day that deadlocks the traffic of life’s routine and gives cause to stop and reflect. Perhaps much like 9/11, or the day that President Ronald Reagan passed away. One of those days when the whole world, for a moment, seems to stop and you find yourself all-consumed, soaking up every last emotion of that moment.

May 15th 2007 was one of those days. A day that became muddied by a heaviness of heart. One that allowed me to reflect on all that one man had added and invested in my life. A heaviness of heart not for one man’s soul but rather the void his departure will leave in a society and culture in desperate need of such a moral icon. Such a Man of God.

May 15th 2007 was one of those days. A day spent recounting the legacy that one man’s unwavering pursuit of spreading the word of God all over the world has had on a culture, a society, a world, and my life. Polarizing? Yes. Committed? For certain. A world changer? Absolutely. A life dedicated to a God given transcendent vision that changed my life and countless others for eternity.

May 15th 2007 was one of those days. A day to cry out in thanks giving for the legacy that one man passed on not to ten or a hundred or a thousand or ten thousand, but ten’s and hundreds of thousands of young men and women across this country and around the world. And so a heavy heart rejoiced knowing that one man committed his life to the mission of Matt. 28:18-20 empowering thousands to fill in the gap that one man would leave. He embodied the life of a visioneer and spent every breath in its pursuit. A life spent in the “ARENA” many times “marred by dust and sweat and blood” knowing the great enthusiasms and great devotions of a life that honored his Lord and Savior.

May 15th 2007 was one of those days. A day that left me asking “HOW”. How can I honor all that this one man and his vision have added to my life? What of my life and the calling that might be placed on it? And so it must be a life of “What ever it takes”. A life in that same arena, unwavering, un-stoppable to the fulfillment of the vision my Heavenly Father has passed on to me. A life committed to the mission of Matt. 28: 18-20. This I believe honors that one man and ultimately THE ONE MAN!

May 15th 2007 was one of those days. A day that dawned great hope for a nation desperately in need of a spiritual awakening. A hope vested in the foundational vision of a man planted deep in the fertile soil of men and women all over the world. For a man has sewn much seed whose fruit is overflowing the void left by his departure from this life and is now resting in the arms of his Savior.

The following was written in honor of Dr. Falwell by his son Jonathan Falwell:

Honoring My Father

In I Kings chapter 2, the great King David spoke to his son Solomon about the important things in life. David, who was on his deathbed, shared with Solomon the importance of always following God's will in his life. David told his son to be strong, to obey God's laws, and to never stray from what he had learned about God's promises. In the end, David promised Solomon that if he would follow God throughout his life, he would be able to accomplish great things.

These principles that David shared with his son are the same principles that my dad followed throughout his life. He held God's promises close to his heart throughout his 55 years as a Christian and more than 50 years as a pastor, never losing sight of the unique vision God had planted in his heart.

I saw through the years that my dad always sought God's direction and then boldly, even audaciously, went to work to carry out what God placed in his heart.

As David shared those principles with Solomon thousands of years ago, my dad also shared the same principles with my brother Jerry Jr., my sister Jeanie, and with me. He not only verbally shared them with us; he lived them out in amazing ways.

I never once saw my father stray from God's direction. I never doubted dad's walk with God because I witnessed his unswerving commitment to follow God's principles every step of the way. What a legacy!

I am praying now that I can live my life as a humble and committed servant of God, as my dad did, as my family continues to keep the vision alive.

My dad frequently quoted Proverbs 29:18, which simply states, "Where there is no vision, the people perish." My dad was most definitely a man of vision.

As his son, I had a unique perspective on the growth of Thomas Road Baptist Church and Liberty University. I have witnessed many events, both good and bad, in their histories. One thing that was always evident was that dad never stopped believing in the vision that God placed on his heart. He was simply tenacious in following God's instructions.

I was born in 1966, ten years after dad started his public ministry. As far back as I can remember, my memories of dad are of a man who was fully committed to doing everything he possibly could to further the Gospel of Jesus Christ.

I remember many days and nights when he would come home and would tell the family the plans that God had laid on his heart for new ministries. I remember those first conversations about starting a college. His vision was to build a college that would further the educational arm of the ministry that had already begun with the founding of Lynchburg Christian Academy. He was buzzing with excitement at this new venture God had placed in his heart.
I remember his conversations about expanding the television ministry across America to reach every possible home with the Gospel.

I remember those early conversations about trying to impact the culture by getting involved in politics.

I remember him sharing his passion to bring Christians to the political table.
All along the way, my dad never got discouraged or sidetracked from the vision. He remained steadfast in a way that only Jerry Falwell could.

As I think back on my dad's nearly 51 years of ministry, I can only attribute its great success to God and a man who understood vision. I hope that I, too, will be able to effectively teach these principles to my children in the years to come.

And, I hope that as I continue teaching these principles - to the church and to my own family - that it will be far more than just words. I am praying that God will allow me to embody the dedication to the Gospel in my life that I saw in my father's life.

May people see these principles lived out every day in my life, just as I had the great privilege of witnessing this in my dad's life.

The Falwell Confidential Will Continue On
One of the ways in which I will keep my dad's legacy alive is to take on his role in writing the Falwell Confidential. I will be working with the National Liberty Journal staff and continuing to confront the culture through this communiqué. I ask that you pray for me as I take up the mantle of Jerry Falwell in this manner. I certainly feel humbled by the great challenge of filling his shoes in this way. But I believe this is how he would want it to be.

my desert

2007-04-23T11:08:00.000-06:00

The other day amongst sushi rolls and bento boxes, a close friend and I conversed over our recent spiritual journeys or perhaps lack there of. Sitting here now it is funny to me how egocentric I can be as it relates to my own personal journey of holiness. Because surely I am alone, drudging my way through this vast wasteland of spiritual isolation wandering aimlessly as a blind man. And yet there we sat side by side, wind blown from days in the desert, our faces chaffed from being beaten by the sun and blowing sand. Our lips cracked and bleeding repelling any desire to speak. Yet not alone….not remotely alone.

Perhaps it was a shift in the gusting winds that began to change the formation of this desert I found myself in, but with each gust a dune was removed and a fellow journeyman was revealed. A hurting soul in need of counsel, a wanderer eternally lost with no compass, a warrior paralyzed with fear. Each one in search of “Living Water”.

Without questions there are vast spiritual deserts we can find ourselves in while living life. Some much more desolate and deadly than others. Some we are driven into resulting from circumstances well beyond our control. Yet in common they all are isolating, lifeless, spiritually dehydrating, PLACES OF GROWTH.

It’s all too easy to associate a feeling with our spiritual walk, much like we do with love. Yet our Lord command us to Love Him with “all of our heart, soul, and mind”. Not “Love me if and when you feel like loving me”. I believe it is our time in the desert that sifts through the baggage of emotion and roots out our commitment to Love Him, or red flags our Love of CONVENIENCE.

So I suppose my desert was one of work rather than joy. Much like my athletic career, there were many times I had no desire to practice or train, but it was the commitment to success that drove me to grind through. And so my commitment to loving Him forces me to grind through His word daily and commit to Him my struggle of joy. For He is our source of living water. Water that will bring us up out of the mire of our desert and into joyful fellowship with Him.

Rev. 7:17
For the Lamb at the center of the throne will be their shepherd; he will lead them to springs of living water. And God will wipe away every tear from their eyes."

homosexual indoctrination of kindergartners

2007-04-02T08:17:00.000-06:00

And were back. As you can see, I was enjoying a much needed hiatus with some very close friends. We did our best in no uncertain terms to make it clear to our buddy Al that global warming was the last thing he need be concerned about on our little expedition. I guess DUCK means different things to different people.

I found the following little gem while combing the pages of my monthly edition of the National Liberty Journal. Although aware of this issue prior I thought I would share it with you along with a short clip of my own commentary regarding it’s content:

In February, a federal judge dismissed a lawsuit brought by Christian parents who challenged a school policy wherein their children were being taught about homosexuality in their classroom and bringing home gay-themed books from school.

U.S. District Judge Mark Wolf, noting that other federal courts have protected schools’ rights to teach topics that counter parental teachings, said in his ruling, “In essence, under the Constitution public schools are entitled to teach anything that is reasonably related to the goals of preparing students to become engaged and productive citizens in our democracy.”

Two couples, David and Tonia Parker and Robert and Robin Wirthlin, brought the suit. The Parkers sued after their five-year-old son brought home from kindergarten a book featuring a homosexual family. The book, Who’s in a Family? was brought home in a “diversity book bag.” The Wirthlins joined the suit after a teacher read a fairy tale about two princes falling in love in their child’s second grade class.

WorldNetDaily.com reported that Judge Wolf “essentially adopted the reasoning in a brief submitted by a number of homosexual-advocacy groups, who said ‘the rights of religious freedom and parental control over the upbringing of children … would undermine teaching and learning ….’”

“The ruling goes to extraordinary lengths to legitimize and reinforce the ‘right’ (and even the duty) of schools to normalize homosexual behavior to even the youngest of children,” said MassResistance.org, a pro-traditional family Massachusetts organization. “In the ruling, Wolf makes the absurd claim that normalizing homosexuality to young children is ‘reasonably related to the goals of preparing students to become engaged and productive citizens in our democracy.’ According to (Judge) Wolf, this means teaching ‘diversity,’ which includes ‘differences in sexual orientation.’”

The families say they will appeal the judge’s ruling.

So, this concerns me on a couple of levels. The first being that I fear we spend far too much time consumed with politics on the federal level, when the real battle is being waged very much locally. The truth is that once social issues such as this reach the federal level, they have already infiltrated and permeated social perception through local grassroots venues, such as the education system. It has to be stopped on the local level. As a traditionalist and a matter of conviction I will always vote social conservatism over fiscal conservatism each and every time.

The second is the unconscionable effort of a judge to “normalize homosexuality” and legislating that by doing so it will aid in preparing them for becoming engaged and productive citizens in our democracy. How can this be?

MIRROR CHECK

2007-03-26T09:03:00.000-06:00

The bible has a term for the person who refuses wise counsel: fool. Solomon summed it up this way: “The way of a fool seems right to him, but a wise man listens to advice” (Proverbs 12:15, NIV). In our culture it sounds harsh to refer to someone as a fool, so we soften by saying, “He acted foolishly” or, “How could I have been so foolish?” But the reality is, when we refuse to listen, when we dodge the truth, when we insist on having our own way, we are fools.

Wise people know when they don’t know. The fool is the person who convinces himself he knows more than he really knows and doesn’t need to ask anybody anything. At the end of the day, the wise man breaths a sigh of relief; the fool, a sigh of regret.

Bottom line, when we resist presenting our options to the wise people around us for fear of hearing what we don’t want to hear, we are fools. When we insist on ignoring the warning signs and pressing on anyway, we are fools. And in the end, we pay. Fools always pay.

God knows there will be times when you lack wisdom, times when you will ask the Best Question Ever and come up short.

If you are in the midst of an emotionally challenging situation and circumstances require you to make a decision, go for help. Don’t trust your judgment alone. Just as there are times when physical pain makes us incapable of caring for ourselves, so emotional pain can drive us to the place where we need assistance.

If you are being called upon to make a decision that is out of your league in terms of experience or education, get some help. Don’t pretend. Don’t fake it. Asking for help is not a reflection of your lack of wisdom. Asking for input is evidence of wisdom. When the Best Question Ever doesn’t yield the clarity you need, ask someone you trust, “In light of my past experiences, current circumstances, and future hopes and dreams, what do you believe is the wise thing for me to do?”

After all, wise people know when they don’t know and aren’t afraid to go to those who do.

The Best Question Ever

to spank or not to spank

2007-03-22T09:44:00.000-06:00

First let me apologize for the lack luster effort on the blogg this week. I am traveling however and missing my wife and kids greatly. Oh, and I am using dial up to boot. Thus no picture.

The following was an article that I pulled out of news week a couple of days ago. I will reply to the post with my comments, but wanted to open up for all of your comments, reaction, ect. Cant wait to hear your feedback…..

TABOO
SPANKING SMACKDOWN

The uproar over a California assembly women’s announcement that she wants to make it illegal for parents to spank their own toddlers raises an interesting question: how many parents actually spank their kids? We may have to beat them to get the truth. A new study of more than 2,000 parents in the Journal of Clinical Pediatrics found fewer than 9 percent explicitly admit to spanking their kids ages 2-11 – while at the same time, 40 percent say they were spanked as a child and use the same discipline techniques as their parents. “People don’t want to admit it, even in an anonymous, confidential questionnaire,” says Dr. Shari Barkin, lead author of the study and chief of general pediatrics at Vanderbilt University Children’s Hospital. This is a big change in social attitudes from a few decades ago: national surveys in 1975 and 1985 found that more than 90 percent of parents spanked their three year olds. In 1988, two thirds of mothers with kids under 6 said they routinely HIT their child three times a week. By the 1990’s however, it was widely agreed in the medical community that corporal punishment does not work, is less effective than other discipline techniques and has the potentially harmful side effects. (Interestingly, a third of parents in the new study say their discipline approach is ineffective.)

So are fewer people actually spanking, or are they just less willing to admit it? Dr. Robert Murray, who studied the issue of corporal punishment in schools for the American Academy of Pediatrics, says both are true, and the stigma surrounding spanking is a good thing. “When there was a social norm of spanking, it shielded abuse,” he says. Maybe if parents are scared to admit to spanking, they’ll think twice about actually doing it.

WE’RE ASKING THE WRONG QUESTIONS

2007-03-19T16:13:00.000-06:00

I will devote space at the beginning of each week to share thoughts of others who are much more intelligent and insightful than I, with the hope that their words encourage and challenge you as much as they have me. This weeks thoughts are from Andy Stanley's book: The Best Question Ever

Typically when making choices, we run our options and opportunities through a more generic and far less helpful grid. There are several variations, but basically the question we ask ourselves is this: Is there anything wrong with it?

The assumption is that if there is nothing wrong with what we’re doing, it must be okay. If it is not illegal, unethical, or immoral, then it qualifies as a live option, right? Biblically speaking, if there is not a “Thou shalt not” associated with it, then it’s safe to assume it qualifies as a “Thou certainly shalt if thou please.”

Unfortunately, that kind of thinking sets us up for another question that we rarely verbalize or even allow to surface to the level of conscious thought. Yet if we are honest, this is a question that drives far too many of our choices. It goes something like this: How close can I get to the line between right and wrong without actually doing something wrong? The Christian version goes like this: How close to sin can I actually get without sinning?

This is a question that every teenage guy has asked in some way at some point in his dating career. It’s a question everyone on a diet asks every day. It is a question attorneys make a living asking on behalf of their clients.

But it does not stop there. Inevitably, once we have come this far we find ourselves asking, How far over the line of right and wrong can I go without experiencing consequences? In other words, how unethical, immoral, or insensitive can I be without suffering any unmanageable outcomes? How long can I neglect my family, finances, or professional responsibilities without feeling the effects? How far over the speed limit can I drive without getting pulled over? How far can I indulge in an addictive behavior without actually becoming addicted?

It is a slippery slope, both subtle and sinister. It all begins so innocently by asking what seems to be a noble question, Is there anything wrong with it? But it ultimately leads to yet another question. One we have all asked at one time or another: How did I get myself into this mess?

The Best Question Ever

A GENERATIONAL FATHER

2007-03-16T10:15:00.000-06:00

Being a dad, I suppose the reality of what it means to be a good father has unparalleled importance. Yet my desire is not for the GOOD but rather for the GREAT. Which yields the question “what quantifies a great father and how do I arrive at such a pinnacle”?

I no doubt find it painfully disturbing the number of fatherless homes we see in our world today. With such a rampant vacancy rate, it would not be so far fetched to claim victory on fatherhood by merely just being in attendance. And yet truthfully, in some cases a child or family just might be better off with the vacancy sign ON because of the generational damage a father has done or can do.

The hard truth is that it takes only one bad dad to screw a family up. But it can take generations of good ones to make a family right. Harsh? Absolutely! But it’s the truth. Resulting in many a man starting out there fatherhood years on the negative end of the 1-10 fatherhood scale.

Follow me for a moment if you will…. Take for example the father who grew up with an abusive, alcoholic, absentee, you name it, type of bad dad, that makes the commitment for change, and who spends the rest of his life trying to overcome the damage his father has done in an effort to just get back to zero. Just getting back to that starting place where he no longer has to overcome his own demons. And so the son who no doubt has reaped the benefits of change still has missed out on the best, the greatness, his father may have to offer simply because dad has just tried to overcome himself and not pass on the hell he inherited from his own father. And as we look at the third generation father, we see him begin the process of being a great father because many of the tragic hurtles in his lineage of fatherhood have overtime been eliminated.

Great fathers don’t just happen, they are made. Great fathers come from a lineage of good to great dads that have committed themselves to being intentional about loving and committing themselves to their families.

So it might be that you find yourself in that place of change fighting to overcome those things you have inherited, perhaps discouraged, wanting excellence in your own journey as a father…..guess what? We as believers have a GREAT generational father in our Lord and Savior who can trump any baggage you might be carrying around. He is “A father to the fatherless” Psalms 68:5. He can shut the door on a painful past and put you back at that place of a brand new start. The choice then becomes yours as to whether you will settle for GOOD or commit to being GREAT.

Greatness always comes with a price of personal sacrifice. Yet as a father the return on our investment transcends time and can result in a legacy of great fathers and great families.

I know this because I have had the great fortune of having and learning from a GREAT father. A father who many years ago committed to change and putting a stop to a legacy of fatherhood that was headed in the wrong direction. A dad that was committed to the Heritage of His heavenly father and excellence in his journey of raising us kids. And for that, I now spend my days investing in the lives of my children rather than healing and overcoming wounds that could have been passed on to me.

The Recipe that has been passed on to me:

1. God first Family Second – I can not be a GREAT father without a GREAT relationship with my heavenly father. Commit to daily pray and studying His word

2. What is my mission – Mission statements are our GPS for life. Create a mission statement that communicates your vision of fatherhood. Use the following link to build your mission statement: Mission Statement Builder

3. Intimate Allies – We have no greater ally on this journey than our wives. A healthy husband wife relationship translates to security for our kids.

4. Time is Everything – The old adage “it’s quality not quantity” is garbage. Schedule time with your kids. Don’t leave it to what’s left or available.

5. Training Camp - There are many great resources out there from books to workshops. Make it a priority to grow. Your job requires training and study, so should your family.

6. Be Intentional – Have a plan and milestones for your kids. Don’t leave their development to chance.

7. Invest the Best – Pass the GREAT stuff on to your kids so that they can take it and multiply over generations.

God has taken His most prized treasures and placed them in our stewardship as fathers. He has set the bar high for excellence. Commit to greatness as a father. It has generational consequences.

an interesting poll

2007-03-13T08:42:00.000-06:00

In 1940 it was reported that the top seven major problems in our public schools where:

1. Talking out of turn
2. chewing gum
3. making noise
4. running in the halls
5. cutting in line
6. violating dress code
7. littering.

Today’s poll shows the top seven major problems are:

1. Drug abuse
2. alcohol abuse
3. pregnancy
4. suicide
5. rape
6. robbery
7. assault.

Is it me, or does that reek of secularism and the strategic removal of God from our school system?

signs of the times

2007-03-12T08:21:00.000-06:00

If your son won’t naturally come to you with His questions, how will you know when to start? What blips will show up on your radar screen?

One thing is for certain: The game will be well into the second half if you wait until you see signs of sexual awareness in your son. In today’s culture, once you see those sexual signs, you’ve waited to long. It’s kind of like running the marathon but waiting until you are thirsty to drink water. You need to start drinking water long before thirst grabs your throat.

As for your son, his friends already flood their talk with jokes about sex well before the onset of their own sexual awareness. Like weeds in a garden, these sexy thoughts spread everywhere and defy control or understanding in his young mind.

Second, students begin experiencing the social pressure of their halftime adjustments well before they are fully sexually aware. Remember Jason’s comment about finding it hard to stand up to his friends? At the time he wouldn’t have known a hot babe from a bale of hay, but if I had waited until he did, I would have left him at serious risk. Why? Because too often , in their experience, our sons will grab hold of anything that gives them a sense of being apart of the in-crowd. If sex is held up as their boarding pass, they may walk through the Jetway and try to get on board, even though their plane hasn’t yet reached the gate.

Third, and most important, pornography’s treacherous, choking tentacles reach early for our son’s throats. The average boy views his first pornography at age eleven, well before he is sexually aware. That’s why it is important to watch for the onset of the Triple-P halftime adjustments rather than full sexual awareness. The Piaget effect will be the first P to arrive, around age eleven. This serves as your early wake-up call, heralding the approach of puberty’s sexual awareness that is sure to follow in just a year or two.

Preparing Your Son

the F’s of success vs significance

2007-03-09T09:03:00.000-07:00

As we journey through life, It is my hope that we each have weighed the importance of the pursuit of Significance in our own lives. A few months back I heard these and have spent a good deal of time meditating over them and their impact on how I live my life.

The three F’s we concern ourselves with when seeking success are:

1. Fame
2. Fans
3. Fortune

Let me start with, “there is absolutely nothing wrong with success” assuming that all else has not been sacrificed in its pursuit. If I take pause for a moment and really dig into those three words getting past the “American Idol” concept of Fame, Fans, and Fortune, it is not far fetched to personalize where my attention has been placed both past and present. As a society we are SUCCESS crazed as we watch time and time again the lives of those who in all appearances have reached the pinnacle of the three F’s and their lives are destroyed. The tragedy with the Three F’s of Success can be that they are all about “ME”.

The Three F’s we concern ourselves when seeking significance are:

1. Faith
2. Family
3. Friends

There is no doubt a difference in the focus off attention as well as the long term impact of that focus. See our investment in Faith, Family, and Friends has a compounding interest over time. It is so much bigger than the “ME” of the Success F’s.

Although I could spend hours on this subject, I hope to give you a little something to chew on over the weekend.

Be in Church with God’s people on Sunday.

See ya Monday.

above the rim rock

2007-03-07T09:09:00.000-07:00

A hunters guide to His Heart

I have found myself on many occasion asking, what is it about hunting, and the event that ensues as part of it’s pursuit, that breaths into me life and stirs my heart. The crack of the gun and the buckle of a bird in mid flight is no doubt satisfying, but most certainly can not justify the level pain and exhaustion that infiltrates my body in the midst of a ten mile chukar hunt, the bird of this hunter’s choice. There have been numerous occasions that I have found myself in places on a mountain I had no business being and asked myself “What in the heck am I doing”? Only to find myself in that place time and time again. And so my life long question was answered one blue bird Saturday morning of which I will never forget.

As all of my chukar hunts do, I began preparing all of my gear Friday night after the kids had been tucked safely in bed. Even sitting here now I am rushed with the stale blunt smell of bee’s wax, which as part of my hunt ritual, is thinly coated over my boots before each hunt. Like a soldier my gear is systematically inventoried and placed in it’s appropriate place for the early morning departure. Gramps’s savage 16 gage double triggered side by side that has been passed now to me, is sheathed and stored safely in the cab of my pickup along with my hunting vest. With the highs being in the mid 30’s an Under Armour cold gear under shirt, my frayed red Eddy Bauer shammy, and the standard issues Carhartts would fit the bill. And though I could count on one hand the number of times I have used it, my Swiss Army Leatherman just in case. With lunch packed and the coffee timer set, my mind could be at ease at least knowing I was prepared. But it is that boyhood excitement that awakens me at 2:00 am and 4:00 am just to make sure I haven’t slept through the alarm that causes me to pause and soak in all that hunting has brought to my life.

I am not sure why it is, but coffee the morning of a hunt, that I sip from my hunt day coffee mug, which displays airbrushed replicas’ of my two German Shorthair Pointer hunting partners, seems ritualistic as each sip holds a different memory for me.

With the dogs loaded up, gear packed away and final preparations completed, my hunting buddy and I set off for the days adventure. The two hour drive seemed a blur from the endless recollection of past hunts, the days strategy, and the typical hunting banter. As previously stated we found ourselves amidst one of those stunning Northwest blue bird days, a Chukar hunters dream with a ground temperature of about 26 degrees. Perfect for the dogs and scenting birds. The perfect day to be sure, or so I thought.

Within a quarter mile of the truck we had to cross “Sucker Creek” which as I would soon find out was very appropriately named. The creek spanned about fifteen feet across and was somewhat slow moving. The water level was abnormally high and rather than risk my feet getting wet, I opted for what seemed the logical choice and crossed over a frozen section of the creek. Half way across and with dry land only steps away it happened, the deafening pop of the ice and my plummet into the waist deep bone chilling water. Within seconds I had broken through the remainder of the ice and drug myself to safety. NOT the way to start the day.

At twenty six degrees it took all of ten minutes for pants to freeze leaving me hobbling like the TIN MAN from Wizard of OZ. After stripping down and wringing out my clothes, we were back on the trail.

By noon we had GPS ourselves to be around five miles into the back country. With the bird finding being discouragingly slow we opted for a new strategy and split up. I’d been side hilling it for about ¾ of mile when my highly trained hunter’s eye spotted something increasingly peculiar. Grace (my female shorthair) appeared to be carrying a bird in her mouth. Problem was, I hadn’t shot a bird all day. And to my horror with every step closer I came to the paralyzing realization that what I thought was a bird was a face full of porcupine quills. They covered her face from snout to ear, in her gums, tongue, and lips. And so I spent the next forty five minutes yanking one after another out of her face and mouth, putting to good use the Leatherman I so seldom used.

Now, my heart is as “WILD” as the rest of them, but after the ice and porcupine I figured I best be getting the heck out of there before something else happened like getting shot. But oh that would be all too simple. At approximately four miles from the truck, Hersh (my male shorthair and the heaviest of the two, 65 lbs) cramps up and won’t walk anymore. And so I packed him out on my shoulders for the remaining four and a half miles. Once again having to cross “SUCKER CREEK” this time with him on my shoulders, and once again breaking through the ice. At least the temp was a balmy thirty six this go round. And my aching legs appreciated the numbing effect of the icy water.

For four miles I struggled and fought each and every step. I fought exhaustion. I fought pain. But perhaps the most significant battle was the one raging over mind and thought. You can do this, you can make it. One step at a time.

I HAVE NEVER BEEN SO GLAD TO SEE THE TRUCK.

That night as I sat inhaling a dinner that I could only dream about hours before, I shared the days adventure and hardships with my wife. To which she responded “that’s why you do it. You love it. The risk and the danger.” Hold the presses she is right. With every hunt comes the adventure of risk and danger, the kind that tests a man’s heart, his strength, his endurance, and his mind. Days like this force a man to answer “DO I HAVE WHAT IT TAKES” and on this day I could answer YES. And with that YES my heart is filled.

I have to wonder after the third day, as Jesus sat in the tomb resurrected from death, was His heart filled in the same way as mine. Did he reflect back over the brutal blood laden beatings, the agonizing pack to Golgotha, the sacrifice on the cross, and the war that He raged in the bowels of Hell, and think “I HAD WHAT IT TAKES” for He completed the mission. Our God has what it takes.

If we could only realize that the same adventure of risk and danger awaits each of us every day as we cross the thresholds of our homes. There is a battling raging for your mind, and for your body, and for your spirit. And it is far more exhausting and painful than any self inflicted adventure we have taken part in. YOU HAVE WHAT IT TAKES, but you must “prepare the horse for battle”.

Paul in I Cor. 9:27 says: "No, I beat my body and make it my slave so that after I have preached to others, I myself will not be disqualified for the prize.” Be in the word and on your knees each and every day so that you might finish the race and know “YOU HAVE WHAT IT TAKES”

a battle is under way

2007-03-05T07:54:00.000-07:00

But there is another, more urgent quality to every true myth. The Second Eternal Truth brought to us comes like a broken message over the radio or an urgent e-mail from a distant country, telling us that some great struggle or quest or battle is well under way. May even be hanging in the balance. When the four children stumble into Narnia, the country and all its lovely creatures are imprisoned under the spell of the White Witch and have been for a hundred years. In another story, Jack and his mother are starving and must sell their only cow. Frodo barely makes it out of the Shire with his life and the ring of power. In the nick of time he learns that Bilbo’s magic ring is the One Ring, that Sauron has discovered its whereabouts, and that the Nine black Riders are already across the boarders searching for the little Hobbit with deadly intent. The future of Middle Earth hangs on a thread.

Darth Vader just about has the universe under his evil fist when a pair of droids fall into the hands of Luke Skywalker. Luke has no idea what is unfolding, what great deeds have been done on his behalf, or what will be required of him in the battle to come. Sitting in a sandstone hut with old Ben Kenobi – he does not know this is the great Jedi warrior Obi-Wan Kenobi – Luke discovers the secret message from the princess: “This is our most desperate hour. Help me, Obi-Wan Kenobi. You’re my only hope.”

Again this is exactly what scriptures have been trying to wake us up to for years. “Wake up, O sleeper…Be very careful, then, how you live…because the days are evil” (Eph. 5:14-16). Or as the Message has it: “So watch your step. Use your head. Make the most of every chance you get. These are desperate times!” Christianity isn’t a religion about going to Sunday school, potluck suppers, being nice, holding car washes, sending our second hand clothes off to Mexico- as good as those things might be. This world is at war. Something large and immensely dangerous is unfolding all around us, we are caught up in it, and above all we doubt we have been given a key role to play.

Waking the Dead

men of honor 1 of 3

2007-03-01T09:37:00.000-07:00

Honoring God with your Mind

As it relates to Men of Honor, I want to lay out a three part series on what it means to be a MOH (Man of Honor) as we seek to Honor God Mind, Body, and Soul. It is my desire to explore scripture as it relates to our mind, body, and soul as well as hit head on issues that specifically take men to task as we seek to arm ourselves with the “weapons of warfare” that Paul so eloquently challenges us with in II Cor. 10:4-5. Not withstanding I will as well attempt to lay out an action plan of sorts.

I have chosen to start with the Mind, because quite frankly within it’s complexity many of the most strangulating strongholds we as men face can be locked up in it’s vault. Now don’t get me wrong, the last thing I will attempt to do is scientifically debug the inner working of our minds cause quite frankly I am not sure I am smart enough to understand what I just said much less the brain. However I do know that we as men are stimulated by sight and there is most certainly a chemical aspect to how what we see is stored in our minds which can influence what we meditate on and how it perpetuates our self image or lack there of ultimately rendering us useful or useless in fulfilling God’s transcendent call on our lives.

Man, this is such an incredibly critical subject for us as men. Though there are many aspects of the mind we could tackle together, I am choosing to hone in on the one area that I feel is the single most detrimental stronghold facing men today, SEXUAL INTEGRITY.

Let’s be real, you can’t even go to the grocery store without being bombarded with sexually explicit magazines and advertisements. Unfortunately we as men find ourselves smack in the middle of an epic sexualization of society. So, if we are keeping it real, every one of us finds ourselves on the proverbial “Bell Curve” of sexual addiction. As a point of reference, those on the far left of the curve are winning the battle and have instituted a game plan to protect against unwanted images and thoughts being processed and held captive in their minds. Those on the far right of the curve are the heinous lifeless criminals we read and hear about that have committed rape, molestation ect. My point is this, sexual addiction is unequivocally devastating, and it ALWAYS starts on the left side of the curve. It is imperative that we orchestrate a battle plan and follow it explicitly.

So let’s talk a little biology for a moment. It is important for us to understand why and how we process things that we see and hear, and how that relates to where we as men find ourselves on the CURVE. It breaks down like this; there are three primary chemicals infiltrating the brain when we are stimulated, endorphins, encephalins, and epinephrine. The endorphins/encephlins are the single most powerful pleasure chemicals in the human body. In testing, lab rats (and yes I support the testing of lab animals, better them than me I always say) would endure ten times the pain level for one shot of endorphins/encephlins than they would for cocaine. Some powerful stuff. Now, the epinephrine’s role is to permanently cement what ever it is you were seeing at the time of stimulation in one of the many chambers of that brain of ours.

And this is how it all plays out; you are rolling minded your own business and out of no where you see something you like and think WOW! Now instead of fleeing you stop for a moment and think HMMMMMM! Pow, here comes the endorphins/encephlins and we officially have stimulation. At that very instant the old epinephrine takes that image and files it away for a time and place to be named later. OK, your thinking, no big deal, so I got a little hit of the old pleasure chemicals. Remember the whole lab rats more powerful than cocaine thing? Now I am not saying were are like rats, but we most certainly enjoy the pleasure chemicals, and will always want more, and more, and more. And the funny thing is, we actually associate that epinephrine filed image with the pleasure chemicals we desire and therefore keep going back to the old file time and time again thus sending us further and further to the right of the old BELL CURVE.

Here is the thing, none of this is by accident. God intentionally created these exact chemicals and this exact process so that we would know deep intimacy with our WIVES and our WIVES alone. She is who God intends for us to be stimulated by and it is her face that is to be cemented and filed away so that we associate her beautiful face with the pleasure chemicals we tend to desire.

To be a Man Of Honor, is to be a man that Honors God with his mind and that can answer the call of 1 Peter 1:13 (Therefore, prepare your minds for action; be self-controlled;) and with all of my heart I believe that this issue of sexual integrity is devastating our men daily, keeping them out of the fight. The fact is, within this sin comes a great deal of shame, which I will address in my post about Honoring God with our Body. And it is that shame that puts men on their face floundering like a fish out of water, right where satan desires for them to be. Out of the game and out of the fight.

The Game Plan

1. Chose to Fight – Be a man step up and commit to daily taking captive your thoughts. II Cor. 10:5 We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ. The Greek word for captive is Aichmalotizo- to lead away captive, to capture ones mind, captivate
2. Take it to HIM – pray, pray, pray with transparency to God about the struggle. Check out this promise: Philippians 4:7 And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. The Greek word used for guard/keep is Phroureo- protect by a military guard, either to prevent hostile invasion. Your mind has at it’s disposal Military type protection from our Lord. Claim it.
3. Starve your eyes – Be intentional about what you look at, magazines, tv, computer home page, ect. Example: I had to change my home page from Fox News because of all of the Sexually explicit stories and ads to a non intrusive home page.
4. Renew your mind – Use scripture as a cleaning agent and a filter. Be in the word daily and memorize scripture. Deuteronomy 11:18 Fix these words of mine in your hearts and minds; tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads.
5. Be accountable – Get accountability and filtering software on your computers NOW. I have several resources in the resources section of my blog.
6. Get educated – there are some great books on this subject. I have several of them listed in the resource section of my blog such as “The Game Plan” and “Every Man’s Battle”.

Let me set the record straight here, not every man is a sex addict and suffer from addiction. However every man is susceptible. So regardless of where you find yourself on the CURVE, you must stay engaged in fight. Take captive your thoughts and renew your minds so that you might be found honorable by our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.

a healthy notion of manhood

2007-02-26T09:00:00.000-07:00

“You need to know, Dad, that your son and thousands like him are presently being stripped of their maleness by modern, secular, feminist culture. Over the last few decades, this culture has steadily and relentlessly undermined healthy notions of what it means to be a man. Once-noble images of masculinity have now been replaced by images of men behaving badly…or incompetently… or both. Manhood is no longer a unique calling; it’s now seen more as a problem to be overcome.

At the same time, many young men are confused because of their lack of connection with their father-socially, emotionally, and spiritually. All this has created an acute masculine identity crisis. If you were to ask most young men today “How does a man act?” or “What are his unique responsibilities?” or “What role should he assume in his marriage?” you would receive little more than a blank stare. Many have no concept of the kind of man they should become. Not a clue. Listen to the poem one young man penned for me out of his own personal manhood vacuum:

What is a man?Is he someone who is strong and tall,Or is taut and talented as he plays ball?Is he someone who is hardened and rough,Who smokes and drinks and swears enough?Is he someone who chases women hard,With a quest to conquer, but never dropping his guard?Is he someone with a good business mind,Who gets ahead of the others with his nose to the grind?Or is he someone who tries his best,Not really caring about any of the rest?What is a man? Does anyone know?TELL ME!Who is the prototype? To whom shall I go?

Dad…your son is asking those very questions right now as he grows up under you. In fact, many of the social problems of our day (plummeting morality, rising crime, violence, abuse, reckless pleasure-seeking) spring from the soil of directionless, disconnected sons.

Conversely, I believe a healthy, vibrant masculinity goes hand-in-hand with social stability. So, I feel hope for our country when I see the rise of movements such as Promise Keepers. It’s obvious that many men today are searching again for their true masculine identity.

The best hope still lies in the hearts of fathers…in dads who are beginning to ask, “How can I raise my boy into a man? A real man?” These are the right questions from the one who is most suited to give answers that will stick for a lifetime.”

Raising a Modern Day Knight

sowing seed

2007-02-23T08:53:00.000-07:00

A few weeks back under my "I was Thinking" category I had the following quote by John Maxwell:

"The success of my day is determined by the seeds I sow not the harvest I reap."

Take a moment and really chew on what that statement is saying. The fact is that true significance is deeply rooted in SEED SOWING, not HARVEST SEEKING. As you look back over your days this past week were you seeking the harvest or did you SOW SEEDS?

Examples Please!

a guest appearance

2007-02-20T10:23:00.000-07:00

As we embark on our quest to live a life that Honors our Savior, I firmly believe that we as men are in desperate need of Godly mentors in our lives. I have been greatly blessed with several men that I can call friends and mentors. Periodically I will share their thoughts and perspectives with you as guest bloggers from week to week. So here we go.....

Religious Culture

As I’m reading Matthew 16:13-19 I can see that Christ knew that the people around us influence us greatly. He knew that public opinion would have a tremendous impact on us, and I wonder in your work place, in your neighborhood, wherever you spend most of your time, maybe inside your own home, who do people say that God is?

Our culture has an opinion but I’d like to suggest that we have to also be careful of the opinions of our religious culture. You and I have to understand that we are dealing with a religious culture of our day. And we’ve got to know what the religious culture is so that we will know when we’re buying into propaganda that is not what the Word of God says.

I’m just saying that we need to know the difference of what man is telling us in religious terms and what God is saying to us in His Word. When we stand before the throne of God and he says, “Why didn’t you believe me?”, we’re not going to be able to point to those that gave us propaganda. We cannot point back to all those other people and go “he’s why”, “she’s why”. God says, “Believe me.”
God says, “You called yourself a believer for 40 years and I kept waiting for you to live up to it.” Do we believe or don’t we? What are we getting, what is coming to us through our religious culture? Are we receiving truth? And what is propaganda and what do we want to dump? I’m not talking about dumping the people either.

I want to be real clear when I say, you and I get to choose, you and I get to choose what we’re going to buy. And you and I want to be people of God.

See, we have a lot of things going in our religious culture. Let’s be people that believe God because of what His Word says. Let’s not buy into propaganda that doesn’t line up with God’s Word.

Posted By: BEAR4BBC

the bigger the vision

2007-02-19T08:07:00.000-07:00

In an effort to start each week out on the right foot, I will be sharing the thoughts of others who are much more intelligent and insightful than I, with the hope that their words encourage and challenge you as much as they have me.
This week I want to share a thought from Andy Stanley's book Visioneering which I have referenced in some of my prior posts:

"The bigger the vision, the more important it is that your faith be grounded in His ability, not yours. The bigger the vision, the more pressure you will feel to take credit for your success. Before God can entrust you with the rewards that accompany success, you must be dependant. He brings you to that place by stretching and even straining your faith. But as the capacity of your faith increases, so too your potential to pass along to Him the glory He deserves.

So be encouraged. The agony you are experiencing is normal. The loneliness you are feeling is to be expected. The sleepless nights when you stare up at the ceiling and think, "What have I gotten myself into?" are part of the process. All of those experiences will ultimately lead you to the conclusion, "God, if you don’t come through, I’m sunk!" And that is exactly where he wants you to be-and stay. For this reason, men and women of vision are men and women of faith. And through their faith, God is honored. "

so what?

2007-02-16T18:17:00.000-07:00

As you reflect back over your week,what during your week seemed so important that it took time and resources, that now when you look back does not pass the "SO WHAT" test?

my dependence

2007-02-15T21:39:00.000-07:00

Let me start by saying that I had well intended plans to post something completely different than what I am about to lay out but God always seems to get what He wants, so here IT BE.

I continued my journey through the book of Judges this morning and found myself saddled up in the midst of Samson’s systematic destruction of the Philistines. Side Bar: To be perfectly honest the whole story of Samson is perplexing to me. Yes it is another great story of God’s deliverance of His people from bondage through the life of a man but the whole sex, murder, and scandal aspect, although intriguing, simply mystifies me. I mean the men God had used up and till Samson were the likes of Gideon and Jephthah. Mighty warriors yes, but also obedient and from what I can gather righteous men of God. And then we have Samson. I mean dude was a mess. Kinda like that friend who seems to have the cunning ability to always make stupid decisions, like always falling for the wrong person. How exactly does that work? Uh, maybe it’s that God will even use our sinful human weakness to accomplish His will and bring glory to His name. And aren’t I thankful for that.

So where was I? Oh ya: saddled up in the midst of Samson’s systematic destruction of the Philistines. And again “The Spirit of the Lord came upon him in power.”

O.K. STOP!! Can you honestly imagine what that must be like? How would you know? Is it possible that in our own lives, “the Spirit of the Lord has come upon us in power” and we missed it? Is it even possible to miss it? Or perhaps we must just simply claim it? (Matt. 16:19) At any rate, “it came upon” Sampson and he made a blood bath of 1000 Philistines with the jawbone of a donkey and followed it up with some heavy SMACK TALKIN: "With a donkey's jawbone I have made donkeys of them. With a donkey's jawbone I have killed a thousand men." (Judges 15:16) But in the midst of Sampson’s victory we very quickly see his humanity appear when he “cried out to the LORD, You have given your servant this great victory. Must I now die of thirst and fall into the hands of the uncircumcised?" (Judges 15:18) And God, as He did for His people in the desert provided Sampson with water from the ground.

My point is this; as Andy Stanley put it in his book Visioneering “Success has a way of weaning us off our dependence on God. In the throes of success it is easy to take responsibility for maintaining our success.” I think in that moment of thirst God was saying, “uh, excuse me my servant Samson, it was my Spirit which fell upon you, it was my power that led to the destruction of the 1000 Philistines, you are merely man and your dependence upon me is required in even the little things like this drink of water.”

Man did I ever need that punch in the face this morning.

a redirect

2007-02-14T11:52:00.000-07:00

O.K. so it has been just over a month since we officially launched this blog, and much to my surprise we have had a good amount of traffic. We have a steady flow of people visiting the blog on a daily bases. Although still in its infancy, I want to in a sense re-route the direction of the blog as to align its purpose more closely to the vision God has given me for Man of Honor and to communicate those things that I am truly passionate about. The truth is God has laid a heavy burden on my heart for the souls of men and their role in the home, church, and community.

I am disgusted by the cultural shift from a God fearing nation to one that embraces a socialistic, secularist agenda and frankly believe it is high time that men answer the call of leadership and in a unified voice of believers proclaim the truth of Gods word boldly and unashamedly. Thus Man of Honor, a catalyst ministry of Men that commit to Honor God Mind, Body, and Spirit.

A little over two years ago God began the process of laying the foundation for a ministry that brought men together breaking denomination lines to answer the call to action. As we held our first MOH conference we saw 250 men from twelve different churches come together as one battalion in God’s army. What an awesome sight. Without question there is a stirring among the Men of our nation to take their place in something that thwarts the boundaries of career and success, that is bigger than themselves and that punctures the membrane of mediocrity and isolation.

Without question there are great ministries focused on the needs of men that offer excellent tools and resources for equipping and educating. But where is the edginess, the blood bath of battle on behalf of my family, my church, and my country? Where is the tactical and strategic battle plan that can stand toe to toe with the highly complex and coordinate secularist movement that seeks to spit in the face of God and re-define the Family? Where are the men who’s “faces are marred by sweet and blood” from the arena of this fight? This is my heart that seeks the what, but it is God who holds the HOW. And so in this time of waiting on the how, I will not waist time doing nothing but rather will pray and plan using this blog as a pivotal step of action

So, expect to see some edge. We will address issues in a way that perhaps might catch you off guard or just might leave you screaming out loud “YES!” We will have fun with this blog while seeking to speak truth and challenging the hearts of those who visit. We will take on pop culture and Hollywood and speak to it as our Savior spoke to the Pharisees calling them “a brood of vipers”. We will deal with the daily battle over a man’s Mind, Body, and Spirit, in an effort to claim victory in our Lord’s name. It starts now.

No more nice guys, it’s time to bring it, and bring it we will! Let your voices be heard. It is an open forum for comment. It is all our fight. It must be waged together.

I Corinthians 16:13 "Be on your guard; stand firm in the faith; be men of courage; be strong."

a crisis of belief

2007-02-10T09:45:00.000-07:00

As a follow up to my last post, I found it to be very timely and applicable to our recent journey into the “Believing God” study put out by Beth Moore. Coming to know Christ as my savior at the ripe age of five, I have found myself on many occasion during my journey asking whether I truly believe God is who I say He is. Truth be told, rarely did my actions exemplify what I would have proclaimed my belief to be. To know and understand God’s holiness is one thing, but the personal application and or belief, well, that is whole other ball game. Frankly speaking, I believe that within the refuge of Christianity and church, we as men have a crisis of belief that is lived out in our actions or lack thereof and decision on a daily basis. But then is it fair to assume that our belief should be measured by our actions? I am afraid so.

Why is it that we are seeing a rising trend in middle aged men 30-40 enlisting in the military to fight the war in Iraq? It no doubt has everything to do with that stirring spirit of expectation, the expectation of being apart of something bigger than ourselves. It is that call of significance and of a life of meaning that is desired, but it must first start with belief a belief in the liberties and freedom that are granted to us as Americans. It is a transcendent belief that leads one to lay down his life in sacrifice for what he believes in.

So I ask you “Do you have that kind of belief in God”?

Reality says that belief is derived from knowledge or knowing. And so we find ourselves in a virtual paradox of balancing knowledge and faith in determining our belief. In a recent study of Nehemiah, it was said “we should know the personality of God so well that anytime anything is said in reference to Him it should resonate with us as to whether that is characteristic of who God is through scripture”. For me to truly believe God is who I say He is I must know Him like that.

To this I will submit the following: Knowledge and experience foster our belief, our belief will reveal our love, and our love requires action. Translated: For one to believe in God he must know who and what He is through His word and His moving in our lives. Within that knowledge and experience a deep and intimate love can be fostered for our Savior, and it is that commitment of love that will require daily action for which we will not hesitate, because we truly believe.

When we believe we speak truth. When we believe we obey. When we believe we protect. When we believe we love. When we believe we fight for truth. When we believe we are intolerant of our God being profaned. When we believe we ACT.

Let your action be the yard stick for your belief.

Credits: Beth Moore - Building new Walls

raising the bar

2007-02-05T12:41:00.000-07:00

I Peter 1:16 “Be holy because I am Holy”

For past several months I have been enthralled in capturing God’s vision for our men’s ministry and laying the foundational ground work for His process us to get there. As a growing church with great vision God has set us on a transcendent course to impact our community like no other time in the History of our church. It is no secret that Satan has become agitated and increasingly threatened by the number of lives that have been changed through the grace of God and the ministry of our church as satan has waged war on the men of our church and their families.

Without question we have within our Brotherhood a stronghold of Godly men who are leaders in ministry, home, and the work place. Yet the numbers are few and the need is great. So I find myself asking the timeless question “where are the men”?

You see, the Vision God has set before our men is one of “Personal Holiness”. PERSONAL HOLLINESS. It is within the heart of those two words that the answer lies to the timeless questions of “where are the men”? As unfortunate as it may be, I believe the bar on personal holiness has fallen and now rests on the rung of “Christian Nice Guy” when it was God who called us to “Be holy because I am holy”. It is the very few that first, fundamentally understand God’s holiness and second impart it’s importance on their lives.

It is the bar of Holiness that must be elevated and captivated within the lives of our men if we truly strive to be Godly Men. To be holy is to be set apart, to be completely separated from sin. God’s holiness is complete moral perfection; His eyes can not even look on evil with any kind favor. Moses couldn’t so much as wear sandals in the Lords presence in Exodus 3:5 “for the place where you stand is holy ground.” I know, I know, “wow is that a high bar”, but it’s God’s bar and it is within His context of holiness that we then can build a foundation upon His call in Leviticus 11:44 “I am the LORD your God; consecrate yourselves and be holy, because I am holy.” For how can we consecrate ourselves as men we have not embraced the true Holiness of God.

We have to guard ourselves from gauging our bar of Personal Holiness against what seems holy compared to the world we live in. God’s standards of holiness are eternal and do not rise and fall on interpretation, trends, or morality.

It is with true personal holiness that we must start. As leaders once God’s standard has been set and the vision captured, we can then lay the framework for guiding our men to that place of Consecration.

I hope to share with you over the next few months the framework that the Lord has laid out for the men of our church in our pursuit of Personal Holiness.

God is our Mighty Warrior!

Credit: Al Houck - Inspiration

wrestling with god

2007-02-01T23:22:00.000-07:00

“Then Jacob was left alone; and a Man wrestled with him until the breaking of day.” Genesis 32:24

Have you ever wrestled with God? I mean in the deepest part of your soul, just latched on and grappled for all you are worth?

I can recall as a young boy some of my fondest memories were wrestling with my father. I suppose in one since that rugged and tough essence of boyhood sought to test my strength and how I measured up. Yet in the midst of testing my strength I drew great comfort and security from the power of my fathers arms when in the end he over powered me.

Now I sit in the place of fatherhood, and experience great joy when my son, full of testosterone, in his most fierce growling voice, exclaims “daddy let’s westle”. So, like my father did with me, I lay low for a time letting him ruff me up.

See, it is during that time of struggle that I am teaching him to be strong, to persevere, to survive, and to trust, TRUST in my strength which is greater than his. It is during that time of struggle that we grow closer together.

So, there I sat one late Saturday afternoon, waiting in line to wash my truck. Finances had been increasingly tight and my last pay check had to stretch over two months worth of bills. With the prospect of writing a tithe check the next morning the match was on. Right there in my pickup God and I went at. I maid very clear to Him all the details He was quite obviously not aware of and His only response was “OBEY”! So being a salesman I dropped a little Sandler selling technique on Him and His response was again “OBEY”! In a last ditch effort I tried bargaining with Him, but this time He responded with “TRUST ME”. “TRUST ME”. And so it was with that utterance that I relinquished control and took great comfort in His strength and assurance all the while recalling the story of Jacob, and asking God to then bless me.

Then the man said, "Let me go, for it is daybreak." But Jacob replied, "I will not let you go unless you bless me." Genesis 32:26

My hope is that you have truly wrestled with God. That in the deepest part of your soul you have grappled with your Heavenly father. Because it is there in that place of vulnerability that we find security and comfort in the strength of His all powerful arms.

a fierce heart

2007-01-29T13:29:00.000-07:00

"Jesus is no pale-faced alter boy with His hair parted in the middle, speaking softly, avoiding confrontation, who at last gets Himself killed because He has no way out. He works with wood, commands the loyalty of dockworkers. He is the Lord of hosts, the captain of Angles armies. And when Christ returns, He is at the head of a dreadful company, mounted on a white horse, with a double-edge sword, His robe dipped in Blood (Rev. 19). Now that sounds a lot more like William Wallace than it does Mother Teresa.”

“No Question about it - there is something fierce in the heart of God.”

John Eldredge
Wild at Heart

are you bored?

2007-01-26T10:39:00.000-07:00

“Walk into most churches in America, have a look around, and ask yourself this question: What is a Christian Man? Don’t listen to what is said, look at what you find there. There is no doubt about it. You’d have to admit a Christian man is….bored.” John Eldredge

Yet, our God is anything but boring. Our God is a God of judgment and war in Judges, a God of purpose and rebuilding in Nehemiah, a God of creativity in Genesis, a God of Kings in I & II Samuel, a God of Love in I Corinthians, and a God of Sacrifice on the Cross. He has risen up the most common and meek of men like Gideon and Jephthah to be Mighty Warriors delivering His people from bondage. He has decimated nations that have sought to destroy His chosen people. He delivered David from Goliath and blessed Solomon as the wisest King to ever live. He drove the money changers out of the temple, and called the Pharisees a “brood of vipers”.

Be proud, stand strong and live a life of adventure and purpose. Stand when your heart says stand. Speak out when you know it is right. Be bold and speak truth. Fight for the honor of your God. Be men of courage as Christ was courageous.

When you find yourself on the presuppose of decision, your heart is racing, your chest pounding, and you feel the Holy Spirit pulling, don’t hesitate, LEAP, for it is then that you will come alive and your heart will be re-born.

what is going on?

2007-01-23T15:54:00.000-07:00

For every 10 men in the average church…

9 will have kids who leave the church
8 will not find their jobs satisfying
5 have a major problem with pornography
4 will get divorced - affecting a total of 1,000,000 children each year
Only 1 will have a biblical worldview
All 10 will struggle to balance family & work

Do these numbers impact you the way they did me the first time I read them?

My Prayer:

Father stir up from within us a generation of men who will courageously stand against the devastation of mediocrity and who will fight for their brothers, their sons and daughters, their wives, and their homes as called out in Nehemiah 14. Doing all of this so that you our Lord, our Savior, our Warrior, our Deliverer, might proclaim "The Lord is with you mighty warrior".

much more than a help mate

2007-01-21T22:15:00.000-07:00

“It is not good that man should be alone; I will make him a helper comparable to him.” Gen. 2:18

As I sat hypnotized by the imagery and sensory overload of The Lord of the Rings “The Return of the King” I could not help but be moved by the magnificent metaphor of marriage as Samwise and Frodo reach the pinnacle of their journey on the ravaging coals of Mt. Doom. With the completion of their transcendent cause in reach, Frodo collapses in exhaustion. The next scene will forever be burned into my memory. With faces marred by dirt, sweat, and exhaustion, Samwise mustered every last bit of courage, love, determination, and strength he had, picked his friend up and uttered the following statement: “I can not carry your burden for you, but I can carry you”. WOW! How many times in my own life have I been down in desperate need of being carried? You see, our Father in His omniscience new that at the very least we as men needed a “helper compareable to him", as we seek to carry out the great calling He has placed on our lives. However it is in those times of desperation when we find ourselves in the wastelands of life that our wives become much more than a helper and in fact can carry us as Samwise carried Frodo. Our wives can not carry our burden for us but many times they have carried us.

In Proverbs 31 we are given an epilogue of a Wife of Noble Character or perhaps an outline for what God has ordained as His standard for a Godly Wife. Hidden in verse 23 are the truths of a man who has no doubt experienced some carrying; “Her husband is respected at the city gate, where he takes his seat among the elders of the land.” Prov. 31:23

So the next time you find yourself in the wastelands of life, look down, for you might see two set’s of footprints, those of your savior and those of your wife as she carries you while you can not carry yourself.

a prayer for our nation

2007-01-20T11:59:00.000-07:00

For many of you the following prayer may be old hat as it has been cycled and re-cycled via e-mail for the past couple of years. To give it context it was delivered at one states opening congressional session. In that light my intent is not to re-circulate, but to take from it a challenge, a challenge to SPEAK TRUTH. It is incumbent upon us as men to stand strong and to speak the truth boldly. The opposition has spat in the face of Christian men hedging his bet on our deafening silence. Will you continue to be silent?

I'm sorry I couldn't hear you!!!!

A Prayer for Our Nation

"Heavenly Father, we come before you today to ask your forgiveness and to seek your direction and guidance. We know Your Word says, 'Woe to those who call evil good,' but that is exactly what we have done. We have lost our spiritual equilibrium and reversed our values.
We have exploited the poor and called it the lottery. We have rewarded laziness and called it welfare. We have killed our unborn and called it choice. We have shot abortionists and called it justifiable. We have neglected to discipline our children and called it building self esteem. We have abused power and called it politics. We have coveted our neighbor's possessions and called it ambition. We have polluted the air with profanity and pornography and called it freedom of expression.
We have ridiculed the time-honored values of our forefathers and called it enlightenment.
Search us, Oh, God, and know our hearts today; cleanse us from every sin and set us free. Amen!"

Minister Joe Wright

Spread the Word

2007-01-19T11:39:00.000-07:00

This site is meant to bless others. There are several ways that people learn of this blog.

The first is through word of mouth. If you know of someone who would be interested in this site, might enjoy some these posts, and could benefit from the content found here, I encourage you to let them know of it.

The second is through email. This is perhaps the easiest and most effecient way of informing people about this site. As a result, there's a new tool on the site that you can use to send an email to your friends that informs them about this site. You can find this tool in the Site Tools section in the upper right or in the Left column. You can click the following link:

A third way is through other websites or blogs. If you own a blog or website and this is a site that you might be willing to link to, then below are buttons and codes that you can use to do so. Any link would be appreciated. All you need to do is copy and paste the code found below each button into your HTML template.

no greater joy

2007-01-17T11:15:00.000-07:00

I am a son, a friend, a colleague, a brother, a believer, a husband, a warrior, a fighter, a peace maker, a leader, a man, and a father. I AM A FATHER! It should be futile for me to attempt to describe through a rainbow of words the outflow from my heart that comes with being a FATHER. I suppose some might find peace in the notion that our children are not our own, but God’s, who has entrusted us with the stewardship and nurturing of His precious gift. For me however that stewardship comes with a great and burdeness joy, perhaps like that of Gideon as he stood at the Spring of Harod awaiting war, awaiting victory.

My children are my heart, a heart that yearns for authentic joy and love, the kind of love that can only be exemplified by our Lord and savior as He gave His only son to die because He loves me. What kind of love that must be that I have been given but a glimpse of through the eyes of love that my heart radiates for my son and daughter. So tonight as I cuddle with my son telling nighttime stories of trains and race cars, I will stop in a moment of meditation and thank my Lord for loving me, for creating me as man, and entrusting me with the hearts of his precious gifts that are my beloved. You see authentic joy lies in those moments of seed sowing in the fertile soil of family and those things of eternal consequence and significance. It is the pursuit of the temporal (career, money, car’s ect.) that breeds a temporary joy and an eternal thirst.

Nehemiah 4:14

the first ten laws

2007-01-13T21:08:00.000-07:00

I was recently entrenched in a heated debate with a socialistic atheist who, as any good socialistic atheists would, threw out the following propaganda laden question with absolutely no education or knowledge to substantiate it’s insinuation:

"Answer me why then the ten commandments were not the first ten laws?"

My response is as follows. I will allow you as well to root out the details for yourself through scripture.

“For the sake of time I am not going to list the Ten Commandments from Exodus 20:2-17 (these were the Ten Commandments on the first set of tablets) and the Ten Commandments from Deuteronomy 5:6-22 (these were the Ten Commandments on the second set of tablets). I will let you do your home work and study your own bible to see, that contrary to your question, they are the same. Where I believe your confusion lies is quite common amongst atheist, agnostics, and secularists who try to dispute the inherency of scripture and the significance of the Ten Commandments as exampled by the following web site http://www.positiveatheism.org/crt/whichcom.htm. Most people’s confusion is centered around Exodus 34. The problem with this argument is that what are written in Exodus 34 are not the Ten Commandments but rather the covenant or law that God made with the Jews. Most people skip right over Exodus 34:4 “And he hewed two tables of stone like unto the first; and Moses rose up early in the morning, and went up unto mount Sinai, as the LORD had commanded him, and took in his hand the two tables of stone.” It was at this time Moses hewed/carved the Ten Commandments on the new tablets. The same as the first. The covenant or law was to be lived out through the Ten Commandments.”

secularist debunk

2007-01-12T09:44:00.000-07:00

Within the secularist movement it is a common argument that because the word God is not found anywhere in the United states Constitution the framers did not want religion to influence public policy nor that God/religion was a decisive factor in the formation of the Constitution of the United States.

It is a fact that the WORD God is not found in the US Constitution. However that by no means substantiates that God is not found in the US constitution.

A simplistic response to the above assumption is that the framers of our Constitution did not want America to become a theocracy defined: (a form of government in which God or a deity is recognized as the supreme civil ruler, the God's or deity's laws being interpreted by the ecclesiastical authorities.) They did not believe in a theocratic state. The framers of our Constitution did not want clergymen to pick Presidents and set government policy. This in no way, however, is to say that they saw no role for God or religion in government.

To flush out the flaw in a secularist thought process, as stated in my first paragraph, we have to turn to science. Most people would not consider Charles Darwin, the author of “On the Origin of Species” 1859, to be someone important in order to understand the U.S. Constitution. The fact is it is Darwin that designed the framework for how secularists see the constitution. In fact a case could be made that he has had a greater or equal impact on the Constitution as the delegates at the constitutional convention! The reason is simple, Darwin changed the way many see the Constitution. The dominant legal philosophy in the United States today is secularism. To the secularist the existence of God is irrelevant when understanding government and therefore you read the Constitution in a way that is totally foreign to its framers. It is important to remember that when the Constitution was written, the only possible explanation for the existence of the Universe was special creation. Therefore, all of the delegates at the Philadelphia convention were creationists of one form or another. Secularism defined: (the belief that religion should not be involved with the ordinary social and political activities of a country) did not even exist in 1787. So to assume that because the WORD God can not be found in our constitution we are to conclude the framers never intended God or religion to be an influence government is fundamentally incorrect.

Generally, the word "God" will appear in two places in most constitutions, in the preamble and the religion clauses in the bill of rights. For example, the word "God" appears in the preamble in eight state constitutions. In four states, the "Supreme Ruler of the Universe" is used instead. By far, the most popular divine reference in a preamble is "Almighty God." This appears in the preamble of 30 state constitutions. So we must assume that based on secularist theory of if the word God can not be found in United states Constitution the framers did not want religion to influence public policy nor that religion was a decisive factor in the formation of the Constitution of the United States, the opposite is true, meaning that based on the above facts concerning the word God in 30 states preamble, they all acknowledge and accept the importance of God and religion as an influencer on government and policy. Secularists hang their hat on being of an open minded persuasion. If that is reality than they must not turn a blind eye to what the framers said themselves:

George Washington’s Proclamation to the American people after congress completed it’s work on the 1st amendment: "Whereas it is the duty of all nations to acknowledge the providence of Almighty God, to obey His will, to be grateful for His benefits, and humbly to implore His protection and favor”

John Adams: “We have no government armed with power capable of contending with human passions unbridled by morality and religion. Avarice, ambition, revenge, or gallantry, would break the strongest cords of our Constitution as a whale goes through a net. Our Constitution was made only for a moral and religious people. It is wholly inadequate to the government of any other."

Charles Carroll - signer of the Declaration of Independence
" Without morals a republic cannot subsist any length of time; they therefore who are decrying the Christian religion, whose morality is so sublime and pure...are undermining the solid foundation of morals, the best security for the duration of free governments."

You can not summize that the absence of the word God is to conclude that God and religion were not instrumental in the construction of the constitution and our government as evidence by the Constitutional Convention of 1787, where James Madison proposed the plan to divide the central government into three branches. He discovered this model of government from the Bible, as he read Isaiah 33:22;
“For the LORD is our judge,
the LORD is our lawgiver,
the LORD is our king;
He will save us.”

what it's all about

2007-01-08T11:36:00.000-07:00

Significance is not a destination but rather a journey. As men God has called us to Lead Courageously, Reject Passivity, Accept Responsibility, and Embrace His Supernatural Calling for our lives. It is within this Divinely Concocted Recipe that true Significance is derived. My journey is yours. Will you join me?

Questions?

2007-01-06T12:54:00.000-07:00

This is the area to submit questions about theology, about this site, about this ministry or about anything else you might have a question about.

Construction

2007-01-02T18:10:00.000-07:00

Click to open ->[-]

If you've been here before then you'll notice that this blog is under going some changes. Any input is appreciated so feel free to comment on this post. Thanks for visiting and please return soon.

asking to much

2006-12-07T16:08:00.000-07:00

amongst the ciaos of war, god, and religion is it asking to much for men to put aside selfish ambition and in unison stand in arms to fight the great battle that has been set before us?