Being a dad, I suppose the reality of what it means to be a good father has unparalleled importance. Yet my desire is not for the GOOD but rather for the GREAT. Which yields the question “what quantifies a great father and how do I arrive at such a pinnacle”?
I no doubt find it painfully disturbing the number of fatherless homes we see in our world today. With such a rampant vacancy rate, it would not be so far fetched to claim victory on fatherhood by merely just being in attendance. And yet truthfully, in some cases a child or family just might be better off with the vacancy sign ON because of the generational damage a father has done or can do.
The hard truth is that it takes only one bad dad to screw a family up. But it can take generations of good ones to make a family right. Harsh? Absolutely! But it’s the truth. Resulting in many a man starting out there fatherhood years on the negative end of the 1-10 fatherhood scale.
Follow me for a moment if you will…. Take for example the father who grew up with an abusive, alcoholic, absentee, you name it, type of bad dad, that makes the commitment for change, and who spends the rest of his life trying to overcome the damage his father has done in an effort to just get back to zero. Just getting back to that starting place where he no longer has to overcome his own demons. And so the son who no doubt has reaped the benefits of change still has missed out on the best, the greatness, his father may have to offer simply because dad has just tried to overcome himself and not pass on the hell he inherited from his own father. And as we look at the third generation father, we see him begin the process of being a great father because many of the tragic hurtles in his lineage of fatherhood have overtime been eliminated.
Great fathers don’t just happen, they are made. Great fathers come from a lineage of good to great dads that have committed themselves to being intentional about loving and committing themselves to their families.
So it might be that you find yourself in that place of change fighting to overcome those things you have inherited, perhaps discouraged, wanting excellence in your own journey as a father…..guess what? We as believers have a GREAT generational father in our Lord and Savior who can trump any baggage you might be carrying around. He is “A father to the fatherless” Psalms 68:5. He can shut the door on a painful past and put you back at that place of a brand new start. The choice then becomes yours as to whether you will settle for GOOD or commit to being GREAT.
Greatness always comes with a price of personal sacrifice. Yet as a father the return on our investment transcends time and can result in a legacy of great fathers and great families.
I know this because I have had the great fortune of having and learning from a GREAT father. A father who many years ago committed to change and putting a stop to a legacy of fatherhood that was headed in the wrong direction. A dad that was committed to the Heritage of His heavenly father and excellence in his journey of raising us kids. And for that, I now spend my days investing in the lives of my children rather than healing and overcoming wounds that could have been passed on to me.
The Recipe that has been passed on to me:
1. God first Family Second – I can not be a GREAT father without a GREAT relationship with my heavenly father. Commit to daily pray and studying His word
I no doubt find it painfully disturbing the number of fatherless homes we see in our world today. With such a rampant vacancy rate, it would not be so far fetched to claim victory on fatherhood by merely just being in attendance. And yet truthfully, in some cases a child or family just might be better off with the vacancy sign ON because of the generational damage a father has done or can do.
The hard truth is that it takes only one bad dad to screw a family up. But it can take generations of good ones to make a family right. Harsh? Absolutely! But it’s the truth. Resulting in many a man starting out there fatherhood years on the negative end of the 1-10 fatherhood scale.
Follow me for a moment if you will…. Take for example the father who grew up with an abusive, alcoholic, absentee, you name it, type of bad dad, that makes the commitment for change, and who spends the rest of his life trying to overcome the damage his father has done in an effort to just get back to zero. Just getting back to that starting place where he no longer has to overcome his own demons. And so the son who no doubt has reaped the benefits of change still has missed out on the best, the greatness, his father may have to offer simply because dad has just tried to overcome himself and not pass on the hell he inherited from his own father. And as we look at the third generation father, we see him begin the process of being a great father because many of the tragic hurtles in his lineage of fatherhood have overtime been eliminated.
Great fathers don’t just happen, they are made. Great fathers come from a lineage of good to great dads that have committed themselves to being intentional about loving and committing themselves to their families.
So it might be that you find yourself in that place of change fighting to overcome those things you have inherited, perhaps discouraged, wanting excellence in your own journey as a father…..guess what? We as believers have a GREAT generational father in our Lord and Savior who can trump any baggage you might be carrying around. He is “A father to the fatherless” Psalms 68:5. He can shut the door on a painful past and put you back at that place of a brand new start. The choice then becomes yours as to whether you will settle for GOOD or commit to being GREAT.
Greatness always comes with a price of personal sacrifice. Yet as a father the return on our investment transcends time and can result in a legacy of great fathers and great families.
I know this because I have had the great fortune of having and learning from a GREAT father. A father who many years ago committed to change and putting a stop to a legacy of fatherhood that was headed in the wrong direction. A dad that was committed to the Heritage of His heavenly father and excellence in his journey of raising us kids. And for that, I now spend my days investing in the lives of my children rather than healing and overcoming wounds that could have been passed on to me.
The Recipe that has been passed on to me:
1. God first Family Second – I can not be a GREAT father without a GREAT relationship with my heavenly father. Commit to daily pray and studying His word
2. What is my mission – Mission statements are our GPS for life. Create a mission statement that communicates your vision of fatherhood. Use the following link to build your mission statement: Mission Statement Builder
3. Intimate Allies – We have no greater ally on this journey than our wives. A healthy husband wife relationship translates to security for our kids.
4. Time is Everything – The old adage “it’s quality not quantity” is garbage. Schedule time with your kids. Don’t leave it to what’s left or available.
5. Training Camp - There are many great resources out there from books to workshops. Make it a priority to grow. Your job requires training and study, so should your family.
6. Be Intentional – Have a plan and milestones for your kids. Don’t leave their development to chance.
7. Invest the Best – Pass the GREAT stuff on to your kids so that they can take it and multiply over generations.
God has taken His most prized treasures and placed them in our stewardship as fathers. He has set the bar high for excellence. Commit to greatness as a father. It has generational consequences.
"If your vision is for a year, plant wheat. If your vision is for ten years, plant trees. If your vision is for a lifetime, plant people." 
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5 comments:
i love this post. you are already attaining to be great. but you have been given a gift--your father made sure to "set you up" for it. you do the best with what you've been given--so hopefully your children can take it farther than you.
Excellent post! Thanks for the "reminder" and challenge! I know I am an "all the time" educator in my home and wanna be a "great" DAD!
i love this post. could be one of my favorites so far. thank you for the reminder for all the husbands out there. so many of them do not come from homes where they got good training. you ARE a wondeful daddy AND uncle. i'm greatful my children will have you in their lives.
Another great post, Jake. You are a gifted writer.
Thanks for the "recipe." It's easy to agree with your post but I think the value lies in the action point you provided. It's easy to see reminders everyday of what we should or shouldn't do...but how do we accomplish it? We have to "be prepared"...again, thanks for the recipe.
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