the four faces of manhood

For many of us, the vision of manhood that has been laid at our feet is one of perfection as the humorist Garrison Keeler so eloquently portrayed when he wrote:

“Plato, St. Francis, Leonardo daVinci, Vince Lombardi, Yogi Berra --You don’t find guys of that caliber today. What you find is terrible gender anxiety. Guys desperately trying to be Mr. Right: the man who can bake a cherry pie; go shoot skeet; come back, toss the salad, converse intimately about intimate matters; cry if need be, laugh, hug, be vulnerable, perform passionately that night, and then the next day, go off and lift them bales and tote that barge. You know, trying to be Mr. Perfect, is a terrible way to spend your life.”

And for so many of us we carry this burden of perfection and with it a recipe for failure as men. When in reality what the world really needs, what the world is longing for and what we as men desire is a balance of four expressions, four noble faces in a man’s life.

THE FOUR FACES OF MANHOOD

1. The King Face – It’s a face that doesn’t come easily in a man’s life. The fact is this face has to be cultivated over time. There has to be a number of ingredients that go into helping a man put this face on. It’s through his parents; it’s through mentors; it’s through heroes; stories, faith; persevering through special problems. It comes about through integrating his religion into his life. All of which cultivates in a man’s soul over time. The King Face is forged in the crucible of a man’s life. The King Face has a love of right over comfort and ease.

It’s the face a man shows when he’s asked to cheat on a business deal. It’s the face a man shows when it comes time to keep his promise, although now keeping his promise is going to be extremely difficult. It’s the face a man shows when he makes good on his debt. The face shows when he risks his own life to save another person, or when he’s on a business trip and he’s propositioned by a female companion. It’s the face he shows when he could take advantage of someone else, but he chooses not to. Or he stands up to a good friend whose life is out of control, and risks the friendship in order to call the friend back to what is noble, and what is just. It’s that face he shows without blinking in the face of danger. It’s the fact that doesn’t waiver – even though he knows there are risks and consequences by standing up to that which is ignoble and wrong.

The King Face:

Reflects - Righteous Energy

Proverbs 4:18, “But the path of the righteous is like the light of the dawn that shines brighter and brighter until the full day.”

Is Characterized By :

1. Strong Convictions
2. Courageous moral choices
3. A servant spirit
4. Righteous Leadership

2. The Warrior Face – The Warrior face is the most celebrated and honored of all of the four faces in a man’s life. We love to celebrate great warriors of the past like George Patton ,Teddy Roosevelt, and William Wallace or great sports warriors like Michael Jordan, Lance Armstrong, Tiger Woods, and Cal Ripken. We love to honor warriors.
And all of that stirs our soul because there’s something within us that enjoys a good fight. And that’s the Warrior Face. It’s the man who can take life head-on and win; it’s the guy that can take the other guy’s best shot and still say CAGSOT (Come And Get Some Of This). It’s the man who works the hardest or the longest and outlasts the competition. We like the Warrior Face.

The Warrior Face:

Reflects – Conquering Energy

Is Characterized By:

1. Initiative - He goes after it on his own

2. Protecting – He is the one who shields and defends
3. Providing - It goes out and gets and says, ‘I’m going to take care of you. No matter what it takes.’
4. Persevering – amidst all kinds of adversity it

still goes on
5. Fighting - It’s the face that fights

The Warrior face is not a destructive force but rather a Positive Energy Force.

3. The Face of the Lover - The Lover is a face that is as unnatural to a man as the Warrior is natural because love is way more difficult for most of us as men.

It’s the Lover Who:
· picks up on his wife’s real needs;
· is willing to let go of another good business deal in order to spend more time at home.
· can open his heart and share the things that he really feels and who can crack open the door and share the hurt in his life and the pain, and he can connect around that kind of sensitivity of feelings, rather than hide them because he feels like he has to have a front for strenght

The Face of the Lover:

Reflects – Romantic Energy

Is Characterized by:

1. tenderness
2. sensitivity
3. sacrificial care
4. emotional openness
5. physical affection

Ephesians 5:25: “Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church.”

4. The Face of the Friend - You know the truth is as men we really don’t have friends. Don’t get me wrong, we have a lot of buddies, guys we might golf or fish or hunt or work with.

But we generally really have very few friends at all. The kind of friend that can connect with us at the soul level. The kind of friend that will talk tough to us and get in our face if need be. And quite honestly, as much as may want a friend like that, who has the time or energy.

The Friend Face:
Reflects – Connecting Energy

If you’re going to be the kind of man you’re supposed to be – you have to be connected with other men who can speak into your life; who can call out the best in you; who can cheer for your successes; admire your efforts and be your friend, because that’s what a real friend is.

Proverbs 27:17 “As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another.”

Characterized By :

1. Loyalty
2. Accountability
3. Challenge
4. Fun

Our world today is in desperate need of seeing in men the balanced and synchronized FOUR FACES of Manhood.